Saya tolong postkan on behalf kawan saya. Tapi nama adalah nama sebenar. Saya harap post ni akan dipublish.
Hi, cerita saya ni mungkin akan trigger ramai orang terutamanya wanita. Dan saya cerita ini berdasarkan pengalaman saya sendiri untuk dijadikan iktibar oleh semua orang.
Saya Hanis, berumur 26 tahun. Seorang engineer. Saya kerja dalam bidang dimana jobscope saya termasuk pergi ke site and so on. Mostly i would spend my time at the site rather than in the office.
I love my job. Tapi kerana MCO ini we all have to work from home so no sites for me. Projects semua pun on hold so macam tak bekerja sangat la.
Cerita ini bermula 2 tahun lepas dimana saya menjalani internship di satu company yang terkenal di Malaysia.
It’s a renowned Malaysian company. Everyone was impressed when my application was accepted. It was a great company with great work environment. I’ve been exposed to so many things and knowledge.
Lucky me. Bekerja in construction work wasnt easy especially when you were the only woman in that circle. Yes saya seorang perempuan dan ada ditugaskan dibawah seorang co-worker yang berumur 10 tahun lebih tua dari saya, sudah berkahwin dan mempunyai seorang anak.
Bear in mind i was only 24 at that time. My supervisor was the head of department and he was rarely in the office, so he assigned me with this one co-worker. Jadi hari hari saya akan pergi ke site dengan co-worker ini.
Hari demi hari, kami menjadi rapat. Saya the only woman at the site jadi dia memang jaga saya from head to toe memang tak lepaskan saya sendiri la.
And made sure contractors at the site respect and layan saya how they should. Dari berbual tentang hal kerja kami mula berbual hal yang personal. Life masing masing. To the point kami jadi inseparable. Saya tahu favourite food dia, dia tahu favourite food saya dan macam macam lagi.
To the point kadang kami pergi lunch dengan co-workers lain, dia yang akan orderkan makanan saya or vice versa. Semua orang di office kenal kami dan panggil kami inseparable duo.
Apabila orang nak cari dia, orang akan tanyakan saya kerana mereka tahu saya tahu his whereabouts. Kami akan lepak bersama lepas site visits. Pergi lunch bersama dan text sampai larut malam bukan hal kerja.
Hal ni went on sampai lah saya menamatkan internship saya selepas 6 bulan. Tapi kami masih keep in touch. Kami akan keluar lunch, tea-time or dinner from time to time.
Dan sekarang dah 2 tahun semenjak saya tamatkan internship dan saya sudahpun bekerja ditempat lain. Saya tak salahkan sesiapa, saya mengaku hal ini terjadi kerana diri saya sendiri. It takes two to tango.
Dua tahun kami berkawan, berborak kosong, flirting around panggilan sayang seperti dah jadi kebiasaan.
To the point yang saya rasa, well this could be something. But I was wrong, I was wrong from the start. I knew it from the start but I couldnt help myself. He treats me so well. (I had bad experiences with my past relationships).
I would say dalam masa 2 tahun ni, boleh katakan almost every 2/3 weeks we would see each other and text each other pretty frequent too.
Dia kisahkan wellbeing saya. Saya ada anxiety yang teruk and would get anxiety attacks from time to time and kalau terjadi waktu tu dia ada mmg dia yang akan calm me down. Just stay with me macamtu je. He would see me whenever he comes to my state.
Saya bukan duduk KL, he’s staying in KL. Jadi whenever dia outstation ke tempat saya kami akan berjumpa. Vice versa. Kadang saya ada project di KL. We never actually discussed what we are, but we know that we love each other’s companion.
Apabila kami berjumpa we wouldnt talk about his family, his wife. Simply about our lives. But it was nothing sexual, cuma flirting around berpegangan tangan jalan jalan di mall macam high school couple (versi tua).
Everything was okay until MCO started, kami berdua kerja dibidang yang sama. Jadi MCO affects our daily routine. We can’t work from home. Jadi saya ada banyak masa terluang, jadi casually saya akan text dia cause that’s what we always do for the past 2 years.
Tapi sekarang dia dah lain, not really the same guy that I’ve known for the past 2 years. He didnt reply my texts like he used to. Rejected my phone calls. And sometimes I couldnt even reach him cause Whatsapp dia only 1 tick (means he switches off his phone).
Btw dia ada dua 2, personal & work phone. We contact each other through his work phone, infact I dont even have his personal number.
Reply dia sekarang sangat straight forward. No sayang no flirting around anymore. And i went nuts. One month of MCO has driven me crazy thinking that he doesnt even want to talk to me anymore.
But then again saya fikir, what was I thinking? He has a wife, and his beautiful daughter. And he now has the privilege to stay home with them everyday all day. Why would he want to talk to me anyways? And that’s when it hit me.
Its true the say, a guy could have many girls kat luar but at the end of the day, he would still choose his wife & family. He is a really nice man. He has been treating me so nice for the past 2 years, tak pernah ambil kesempatan.
Sometimes he would even join my dinner with my friends, and all my friends would say something like ‘Wow he treats you like a queen, you better keep him’ little did they know, he’s married. And he just needed a company that all. And that’s what i was for the past 2 years. A company.
Honestly, I’m so in love with this guy to the point yang saya pernah cakap dekat dia. I dont mind staying single forever as long as we’re gonna stay like how we are forever. And he smiled. And it kills me to know that our beautiful times are gone now hanya dalam masa sebulan.
How he would always reply me instantly before, skrg hanya boleh reply saya lewat malam around 11.30pm to 1am maybe lepas wife dia tidur. Tapi despite all that, he still cari masa untuk reply saya, and tanya my wellbeing and what i did that day.
But compared to dulu, saya tahu dia tanya hanya untuk being polite aje. But that describes him so well, always try to treat me like I’m important even when he has other commitments.
I’m so devastated where I couldn’t even describe it, cause I love him so much. But then saya sedar diri saya dan salah saya sendiri. He never promised me anything cuma dia selalu cakap, whatever happens I’m here always.
So after a month of being sad, I decided to end this suffering. After 2 years of i dont even know what. I texted him good bye. I told him that I know how much he loves his wife and family. And that they’re lucky, they have a husband and a father that think of them as a first choice.
And i also said, I would do anything to get what his wife has at the moment. But not with him. Told him how much i love him dan saya tak menyesal kenal dia selama dua tahun ini. Lets just say I came into his life in a wrong time.
And I’m so sorry for doing this to his wife and family. I wish him all the best in life. And may he treats his wife like how he is doing now after this. Cause i know what a good and nice guy he is.
After I sent him the text, i waited for him to reply but he didnt. The next day, he called me. After a month, he finally called me and said he was out of the house at the moment, told his wife that he wanted to buy barang dapur. And asked me what’s wrong and if I’m feeling alright?
And told me that everything will get back to normal soon. Dalam hati saya, apa yang normal? I cried my heart out and said to him, ‘sudahlah, maybe this MCO is actually the time to realise what we have been doing was wrong, this shouldn’t happen.
I love you so much but this shouldn’t happen.’ I cried and ended the call. He called again and i rejected and blocked his number. Then suddenly received a phone call from an unknown number, it was him from his personal phone.
After 2 years baru saya tahu no personal dia. I ended the call again and blocked him. I texted him for one last time untuk cakap jangan cari saya lagi. Good thing about being the other woman, we are not following each other on our social medias.
Tapi saya tahu je fb, ig dia selalu stalk postings dia with his wife and family. Lepas haritu, saya blocked semua accs dia. Sebab saya tak sanggup untuk tengok atau tahu apa apa lagi pasal dia. Sakit tu saya sendiri je tahu.
Maybe ramai yang akan kata saya gold digger, mahukan lelaki yang stable well he is stable and makes a really good money. But its never about the money, walaupun saya 10 tahun lebih muda, I would always offer myself to pay for food cause i make my own money too but he always rejects it.
And its always me that picks him up whenever he’s in my town, cause he would travel by plane. So no it wasnt for the money or stability. Lets just say Ive never met anyone like him before and no one ever treats me so nicely before.
Jadi ini la kisah saya, 2 tahun menjadi scandal suami orang. Saya tak bangga dengan cerita ini, sekadar perkongsiaan. Jika ada sesiapa yang berada dalam situasi yang sama. Please know, when things are rough he would get back to his wife. Dan kita ini hanyalah persinggahan.
But girls, no matter how good it feels, its temporary. And its never to late to stop. And I hope you will find yourself a man that would treat you even better. So if you’re reading this L, please know that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
And how i wish you were not 10 years older then maybe who knows, masa dan tuah akan menyebelahi kita.
Apa pun, saya doakan awak bahagia dengan isteri dan puteri awak yang saya tahu awak sayangkan mereka lebih dari apa pun dalam dunia ini. And if we happened to bump into each other in the future, tolong jangan tegur saya cause i dont think i would be strong enough like i am today.
Doakan saya terus kuat dengan keputusan ni. Dan doakan saya dapat jodoh yang akan mencintai saya seadanya dan selamanya.
– Hanis (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit