To my dear baby daughter, if you also survived through this pandemic, this is for you. Bismillah..
Today, the world surrounded us was tumbling down due to latest Delta variant. People were dying day by day regardless their age. They went too soon from contracted the virus to dying, it could take a night. Ive been contemplating whether to write this to you or not, as a preparation.
Seeing people dying on the news everywhere made me scared and up till I saw the news about a 2 year old girl that lost her parents within 2 days, I knew that I have to write this. We will never know when will be our turn. Hopefully we can survive this pandemic together in shaa Allah.
I am so afraid that I didn’t get to say what I’m supposed to say to you my dear baby. I really want you to know that you are my everything, I loved you from the first time I held you in my arms, I love you now and forever. Please remember me when I’m gone, remember that Ive always loved you.
Ive always putting you before myself and everything else. I can only pray that Allah will always protect you from any harms and we can make it through whatever situations. So that I can always be there for you and take care of you in shaa Allah.
I know that if I couldn’t make it,you won’t remember me now.
You might search for me,calling my name until you get tired of waiting for me to come home and up to a point that you will eventually forget about me. That was a nightmare for me.
I hope one day when you grow up, you can still recall my embrace, my voice by seeing our videos and photos in my phone or my socmeds account. I just cant stop crying when thinking about all the possibilities of things that could get worse.
I want you to know that I feel so blessed to have you in my life. You give me a purpose and reasons for me to stay strong even when I was at my lowest.
You are so cheeky, beautiful, funny and clever baby that I have ever met. I am so grateful to have you as my baby. Alhamdulillah, all praises to The Almighty Allah.
Dear baby, please take care of your iman and prayer (solah) since we are almost reaching the end of the world. Nothing matters except Allah and the only purpose of us to live in this world is to worship Him.
Please don’t be blinded by the dunya that makes you think money, wealth and good career is everything.
Yes, you have to do the very best in everything you do so that one day you won’t look back and regret for all the things that you haven’t done good enough. You have to be the best Muslim.
The best Muslim only focus on what matters which is Allah, knowledge (ilm), and be the person that can benefit others.
Be the muslim that won’t waste time coz time is precious. Ive only realised that time is short when pandemic hits.
Ive wasted almost a year of my life doing nothing. No achievement and nothing I could do but the best thing about what is currently happening is I can have time to better myself and always do self-reflecting.
So my advice to you,please please please strive for dunya and akhirah. Please do the best for your studies, career and for your deen (religion). I hope I could be there on your graduation’s day.
Always do research about things you wanna choose in life such as promising career. Make sure you put your heart in everything you do.
Love yourself before anyone else.No one will pick you up unless you pickup your own-self. No one will fix you. Only you can fix yourself.
I didn’t know that terms until I finally understood what is that supposed to mean. Self-love and self-worth are 2 important things. You must love yourself first so that you can have self-worth.
No man can downgrade you, no man can force you into something that you don’t wanna do or you don’t like to do. No man can abuse you be it physically or mentally.
Don’t be so naive and let yourself be fooled by man. Choices are yours, choose wisely. Don’t let any man defines you and tell you the thing you can or cannot do.
If he truly loves you, he will always support your decisions and want nothing but the best for you. If a man touches you before you two get married, please know that he don’t actually respect you.
If a man really respect and love you, he won’t touch you as he couldn’t imagine that any men would do the same to his sisters or daughters.
We will always respect and protect the one that we love remember? If a man keeps on playing with your emotions, feelings and make you feel worthless, JUST LET HIM GO.
You wont lose if you let him go. You will be just fine and you will heal. Trust me. Please hold on tightly to your principles, iman and faith.
If you will ever feel lost, seek Allah’s help. Read the Qur’an and the meaning. May you find peace within yourself.
You will get the feeling that something you did wasn’t right when you couldn’t be at peace. You will know that it wasn’t the right thing to do. Ask Him for signs and He will definitely show you.
If you ever wanna get married, please find a man that have characters or traits like your father. Your father is the best husband that I could ever wish for. He always respects his parents, his family and his in laws. Never did once I heard he raised his voice to his parents and parents in law.
He’s always so generous to me(never missed to give nafkah) and pay everything,he’s generous to his parents and family and also his in laws.
He’s always put our needs first before himself and he tried his best to provide everything he could to suit my needs. He always praying and never ever missed prayer without reasons.
He never talk bad about his family and also his in laws as well as his ex. Never to forget that your father also give money easily (sadaqah). He never hit ibu intentionally after we got married but I was always the one that like to joke around and hit him, sorry my bad.
Your father always open for discussions, always trying to give the best for us and sometimes he made silly jokes.
I hate to admit that I had a lot of regrets. I made many terrible decisions and I blew off all the chances that Ive got. I always imagine if things could be any different. How I wish if things could be different. But my time is already passed. I think Ive made peace with myself, with all the regrets.
It’s ok if I didn’t get to study overseas, I didn’t get flying colours in my SPM, I didn’t make it to top universities, I didn’t get to choose my favourite course, I did my masters halfway, I didn’t work soon after Ive graduated.
Woah, looking back to all that, I can say that I am a failure and I am so frustrated that I didn’t do my best.
I don’t actually disappointed at all the outcomes but I was frustrated about the process.
How I wish I did focus studying during my SPM and didn’t busy myself enjoying life and had a boyfriend in boarding school. How I wish I didn’t let all the distractions get in the way.After all I know that I am to be blamed.
Don’t be like me. I don’t wanna look back anymore, nothing I can change about my past. I will always looking forward for my future and our future together in shaa Allah.
Hoping miracles will come and we can survive this pandemic together. I hope and praying the best for everyone. May Allah bless us all.
Please be kind to others especially to your parents and family. Ive always put friends above family during my teenage years. Yes at that phase, you will feel that friends are everything.
I became closer to my family and relatives after I got married.At this phase, family is everything. Actually, family will always comes first.
When friends leave you behind, your family is there for you, when your boyfriend breakup with you for another girl, there is your family, when your husband hits you or divorce you, your parents will be there and pick you up again.
Never ever put your family behind. Be rational and make use of your brains all the time before emotions take over your head.
Your parents will grow older as you grow up. Cherish every moment with your family and create so many memories as you possibly can.
Please be very patience as your parents get older coz they tend to forget so many things. They will also be very stubborn sometimes and think that they always right, that they still have perfect and accurate memory.
Just let them be, hold your tongue from arguing them back,you will never win an argument with them. The arguments are never-ending.
Be patience, istighfar and remember Allah always. We might not be the perfect parents for you but we tried our best. Parents aren’t perfect, we are just humans.
Not all people will like you even though you have done so many good and incredible things. People with hate will just hate without reasons. People will envy you with the things that they don’t have. People will always looking at other people’s plate instead of their’s.
Just let them be and let God deals with them. If you can be anything in this world, be kind and if you don’t have anything nice to say, be quiet.
Sometimes you will feel like this world is unfair and you don’t have a second chance to fix your life, your career and yourself. Take a deep breath and do one thing at a time.
You will always wonder if there is chances for you to make it up to yourself, trust me as long as you are still breathing, you still can have the chance.
In shaa Allah there will always be a ‘next-time’ for you to do better and fix your problems. You need to create the chance and don’t be so hard on yourself. If you ever wonder that is this the life that you really wanted, please believe that it couldn’t be anymore beautiful.
Your life has been beautifully written by Allah and I know sometimes it’s hard to understand all of these, to accept the way how it is, but please put your trust in Allah. Everything happens for a reason. Bad things happen to teach you lessons.
Of all the things that happened,remember that couldn’t be happening without Allah’s permission.
I pray that all the good and bad things that will ever happen in your life will shape you into a better muslim, a matured woman, a patience person that can tolerate people and endure every pains and sorrows.
I hope that every events or situations in your life will make you closer to Allah and treasures yourself.
Don’t make enemy with people, we can easily seek for Allah’s forgiveness but it’s quite hard to have forgiveness in people. In shaa Allah I will always pray for us, for our family to be reunited in heaven.
I pray that we will have a good ending (husnulkhotimah). I hope that I can be there in all your important events, I’m looking forward to hold your hand again during your solemnisation,
I hope that I will accompany you to choose your wedding dress, I hope that I will spoil you in every birthdays, I wish that I will be there for you throughout this life.
Every mother dreams to be with their children in every steps they take.I will wait for us in shaa Allah..till then, take a very good care of yourself. I love you and will always will my baby mama.
To all little children out there who lost their parents to this pandemic, remember that your parents love you more than anything, how they wished they could see you and hold your tiny fingers growing. But Allah is The Great, The Almighty. To Allah we belong and To Allah we will return.
Sincerely,
– Your mother (Bukan nama sebenar)
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