Reply: (https://iiumc.com/kecewa-
Assalammualaikum dan hai. First thing first, I nak ucap tahniah to Nor sebab berani luahkan. Bukan semua orang berani dan mampu untuk jujur dan fully aware dengan keadaan sendiri.
I’m Q, 20+, perempuan, from Selangor, currently study in Malaysia. I pun hadap perkara yang sama ngan u, nafsu susah nak kawal and yes its gotten worse past this few months.
I do sometime thinks that I ni tak normal ke, why I’m having such this dirty thoughts, disgusted by myself, self esteem decrease and to the point that I just wanna kill myself.
I start touching myself when I was 11. Waktu tu I tertengok scene 18+ in drama melayu. I’m fully confused and wonder whats going on and try reenact that scene which eventually lead to ‘masturbad’.
Yang I tau I just nak release that feeling.
Yes. Until now I’m still doing that thing. Dia cam addiction yang susah betul nak buang. Kinda like drugs to me. Lepas buat mesti menyesal, frust, kecewa teruk ngan diri in the same time rasa tak nak hidup lagi.
About tips, tricks how to prevent this things, I ada try jugak and alhamdulillah I dapat bertahan around 6+ months.
After that I menggila balik. Libido I memang increase during my highschool years which betul betul affects my school performance but luckily I manage to get annual awards.
Sometimes I rasa cam tak layak je dapat awards camni cause I have done banyak benda buruk which including this thing and lain lain. On the other hand, I bersyukur kat Allah sebab dengar doa orang macam I.
Back to tips, ni apa yang I selalu buat waktu highschool and I still practise this until now. First, I akan busykan diri buat homeworks, assignments, involve in club activities, organisations and such to the point that I stress gila.
Ok I know ni cam extreme but for me, bila stress gila ni, u akan lebih alert dengan orang sekeliling and kerja kerja yang u nak settle compared to alert to ur nafsu.
Infact u takkan ada masa pun nak pikir layan nafsu tu cause yea, kerja tak siap ada hati nak layan diri kan.
But bad side dia stress sangat will lead to burnout and even worse, boleh depressed. I dah banyak kali try this method and yep ni paling effective to the point that I burnout teruk, tak rasa nak buat apa apa pun.
So my advise kalau u nak busykan diri, jangan sampai burnout. Start control and manage stress tu cause once u busy ngan homeworks, assigments, club and the rest, stress tu memang akan ada.
Second, baca Al-quran, mathurat and such things. Kalau tiba tiba terasa nafsu tu naik, cepat cepat ambik wudhu and grab Al-quran. Baca terjemahan dia sekali.
For me yang ni memang works 100%. Sebab once I sucikan diri and baca ayat Al-quran, otak I dah start focus nak baca lancar and faham makna dia.
Third, avoid having any contact with things yang trigger ur nafsu. For example, kalau scene kissing or 18+ trigger u then stop tengok that thing or skip. For me, ada banyak yang bole trigger nafsu I and one of it is my opposite gender.
Yes lelaki. I start aware when I was form 4, at that time my guy friends berborak something inappropriate (dirty jokes) with me and ask if I paham. Which of course I paham and I really se*ually aroused, disgusted at the same time.
I sangat bersyukur kat Allah sebab still ingatkan saya about harga diri, maruah and so on. So that I dapat kuatkan diri, tak layan and pura pura bodo. Sometimes I terfikir kalau I layan semua ni entah apa jadi, maybe I akan jadi lebih teruk dari harini.
Start gak dari situ, I cuba tak involve ngan mahkluk bernama lelaki but as a student yang ‘cuba’ busy, this things tak dapat dielak.
Most of activities yang I involve memang perlukan commitment from both sides and again I sangat berterima kasih to those guys yang betul betul committed to their works, tak buat lawak lucah, flirting and so on.
I do agree that sometimes bukan lelaki yang start, perempuan pun ada je but seriously you guys kena start paham not everyone comfortable with this things and indeed ada orang yang senang aroused but doesnt means we like such things and trust me, tak lawak langsung.
That awkward laugh just nak jaga hati u guys.
Fourth, jangan jadi loner. I mean jangan duduk kat tempat tertutup ( ur bedroom dll ) sorang sorang.
Cause most of the times, bila u selalu duduk sorang, u akan start pikir ke arah tu, nafsu increase and mula la nak release and u tak takut pun cause pintu dah tutup, dah lock, no one kat rumah so takde sapa tau.
Of course Allah tau. But nafsu tu sometimes akan lebih tinggi compared to rasa takut kat Allah tu. So I totally recommend u untuk berada kat kawasan yang crowded which from my understanding, u akan start tinggal ngan roommates kan?
Kalau boleh avoid duduk sorang dalam bilik. Make sure roomates ada and or kawan kawan.
This fourth method tak works 100% for me. As I mention before, trigger factor I is mahkluk lelaki. Of course not most of them, just some with specific characteristic.
From my exprerience, eventho I tak duduk sorang-sorang, I duduk ngan my friends, nafsu I still triggered due to my guy friends.
So pro tips, if yang trigger u tu mahkluk or crush or ur partner, just imagine dorang tu haiwan yg disgusting. Kalau I buat kerja with them, I selalu akan imagine dorang ni manusia with kepala lipas. Works for me sometimes.
Fifth, avoid berdua-duaan with ur crush or ur partner ( not halal yet ) or opposite gender. Even in open space yang takde orang. Cause as I said before, bila takde orang, our mind mula la takde sape tau, buat je la, but dear, tuhan tu tau. Dia tengok je u.
And eventho u guys claim tak buat apa-apa, I just wanna ask, betul ke tak ada apa? I pun pendosa tak layak pun nak mention pasal ni but just nak remind kita kena jauh dari zina bukan jangan buat zina.
I know some of u guys especially lelaki mesti akan disgusted gila with this confession. To be honest, I tak pernah selesa pun with apa yang I buat for my nafsu.
Sometimes bila down teruk, I mula fikir yang ada ke lelaki nak orang cam I cause sape je nak wife dia bernafsu sangat, I tak bermaksud nak degrade orang macam I but just..
I paham diri I, trust me these experiences yang I cerita ni just the tip of the iceberg, I’m worse than these. Sometimes I harap I takde nafsu syahwat langsung, I harap I tak pernah ada perasaan and I harap I tak wujud pun kan dunia ni.
Okay thats it setakat ni. Kalau u guys ada method lain or Nor ada method lebih effective, share la sikit ya. I pun still in process baiki diri and improvise methods ni.
I’m so sorry kalau this confession buat u guys or Nor uncomfortable or sakit hati. Apa-apa saranan or advise, boleh jugak share.
Lastly to Nor, thank you sangat sangat for luahkan ur problems, thanks to you, my semangat nak improve diri I makin bertambah, sedih, kecewa I pun kurang sikit bila dapat tau I tak hadap these things alone.
Thank you so much. I hope this confession helps you even sikit and may Allah S.W.T ease everything for us. Insya-Allah.
– Qayla (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit