Because It’s Their First Time

Hello, Andak here. I just nak share some story yang I tiba2 teringat.

Actually I tengah scroll down the twitter (take 5 from my work) and found this video mention pasal Job Fair Scam.

Haha. No, I’m not sharing my experience in Job Fair scam ni, tapi teringat my first time cuba cari kerja dulu.

I’m the eldest in my family. So it’s the first time experience for my parents as Ibu and Ayah and their first time sending me to school, set some target and expectations etc.

I remembered there’s one moment yang I was desperately looking for a job. 6 months jobless and actually I kerja part time at restaurants.

Every single day, pagi2 I akan submit my resume through jobstreets and any HR email yang I tahu and jumpa and all the websites that I visits.

Dulu I siap google all the companies in Malaysia yang ada, I bukak and send out the email. Stress gila takda kerja time tu and my household pun tengah dalam keadaan struggle. To the extend yang we have nothing to eat.

Bankers datang nak check rumah untuk lelong pun ada. Haha. Scary experience honestly.

So there’s one time we saw banners dekat area rumah I post cari pekerja. We go there. Perjalanan took around 45 mins from our house. Jauh gila. Kudos to my Ibu sebab cuba cari kerja untuk I.

Dulu I punya desperate nak kerja tahap, kerja rendah dari kelulusan I pun takpela. Janji I ada “proper” kerja selain dari current part time job yang I buat.

I literally bau ayam ya hari2 balik rumah. Sampai cousins2 I siap peril cakap, banyak basuh ayam harini? Banyak goreng ayam minggu ni? LOL.

Back to the Job Fair tu, dalam banner bagitahu nak cari “admin” so I dengan gigihnya pergi la. Sampai2 je tengok penuh dengan lelaki.

I was like, kenapa ramai sangat ni? Are they going to interview me on the spot or they just need my resume? Kalau nak resume je, kenapa tak share the email Sahaja so I boleh email my resume.

We walk to find someone to ask and finally I jumpa this one guy part of the organizer la kot. Asking them, about the job. Rupanya nak cari pekerja offshore and they do open for woman as well.

Haha, I gelak je and tanya my parents, nak I submit the resume and stay or how. Sebab they insist for me to be there. They said, takpela, kita balik. Dah la tak makan lagi time tu. Haha.

Be the first time parents ni, we try to be the best for our family kan. We’ll try anything and everything for our kids.

I saw how hard my parents untuk stay cool for me. They know how stress I am doing my part time work to make sure there’s food on the table.

They try hard juga to make sure their kids survive and better dari diaorang. It’s not easy to be a parents.

I have no kids, but getting older I do understand it now. Susah macam mana pun la parents tu, they still want the best for their kids.

Yes memang akan ada benda tak adil, tak cukup or tak sempurna, but hey remember. Parents are not God. They human with all the breakdown and tears behind the curtains.

No matter you coming from a privileged family or family biasa2 je, semua orang sama. Every parents sama.

The same struggle (in different terms of struggle of course) but at the end of the day, their goal is the same. To provide the best.

I do understand some of them being toxic towards their kids etc, but, do we want to be like them in future? Or are we the one who will break the circle?

Berdamai dgn takdir, berdamai dgn diri sendiri, berdamai dgn trauma anda. I do have my past trauma. It lead to my MDD & anxiety. My youngest sister have schizo. That’s hard.

But, we try to beat the trauma and live our best. Memaafkan mereka yang pernah buat salah 1 masa dahulu.

Because it’s their 1st time..

– Andak (Bukan nama sebenar)

Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit