Hi semua nama saya Z, al kisahnya saya mempunyai seorang pasangan, personally selepas mengenali pasangan saya for quite some time, she have some mental issues.
Awal2 I ingat benda ni normal tapi makin lama makin teruk and i dont know how to handle it and what should I do.
So my pasangan ni a bit mental or some kind I honestly tak nak cakap psycho but bila I google she have the symptoms.
Kitaorang LDR so dia macam nak control everything related to me sebab dia overthinking. Nak pegi mana2 nak kena bagitahu and ambik gambar. If keluar lama sangat dia akan call and marah-marah suruh balik.
And selalu bila i keluar nanti ada je issue or masalah in which dia cakap she need my attention so I kena balik cepat-cepat.
Walaupun my friend semua lelaki dia boleh jealous dengan them dia cakap i lebih pentingkan friend dari dia padahal i keluar pon seminggu sekali bila weekend je.
Even my hobi pon dia nak control, I kena kurangkan my hobi sebab dia nak call dengan i kalau boleh setiap berapa minit or hour. Sejak couple dengan dia i become someone else, I terpaksa ikot apa dia nak.
Dia langsung tak boleh bawak bincang or nak faham kita asyik kita nak kena faham dia…. Since i dengan dia change my life 360 degree. tapi i ikotkan je sebab sayang.
Sebab lain is dia a bit mental sebab tiap kali gaduh mesti tak boleh bawak bincang dengan kena maki and dia nak bunuh diri so end up i kena mengalah.
Awal-awal dulu i ingat benda bole jadi ok lama-kelamaan if i ikot apa dia nak tapi i silap.
Makin lama makin terbeban rasanya diri dengan benda-benda ni, sekarang i rasa i pulak nak mental.
Dia pulak ada masalah dengan famili dia dia tiada sapa2 and banyak sangat masalah yang melanda hidup dia. She need someone to support and comfort her which is me.
I faham but bila dah lama sangat i rasa i pon effected from this. I terpaksa support her not only mentally but also financially.
I did ask her to get help tapi dia tak nak and macam2 lagi masalah lain yang menyebabkan sangat susah untuk dia get help. Family pulak tak memahami langsung.
So what kept me going?? The reason is dia ni memang setia dengan me so i though maybe lepas kahwin nanti ok la kot sebab dia tak stay dengan family dia dah.
Tapi haritu something happen, ada dalam 1-2 days tu dia memang tiba2 senyap. Plus i pon busy kerja.
Then dia terus terang yang dia ada contact someone else tapi dia cakap yang dia rasa bersalah and dia tak nak buat lagi.
Tapi the thing is sebab selama ni i keep holding on je kadang memang rasa nak give up dah,
Tapi i tahu if i left her mesti dia kan buat something yang unimaginable macam nak bunuh diri so paksa diri i untuk stay, but this happen it really break my heart seriously and i terus tawar hati.
Tapi at that time i tak cakap terus terang dekat dia yes memang i sedih sampai nangis tapi i cakap dekat dia its okay.
Then after that till now my mind serabut sangat, i kept on thinking day and night about it.
Till now I cannot bring myself to love her anymore, i macam more kesian dekat dia. I pon tak tahu selama ni did i love her or i just kesian dekat dia……
Kalau korang in my position what you guys will do?
If i left her, she might killed herself or have a mental breakdown so hard she will not recover anymore because she only have me but if i stay i hurt myself and i need to fake myself…
I’m really tired guys… Help me…. Its been so long i rasa macam nak cari kebahagiaan sendiri… I betul2 letih campur dengan bebanan kerja lagi….
– Z (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit