I’ve been married for two months now. Maybe it’s too early to be here, confessing things while my head is not at the right state,
But I dont want to share about my marriage life to people i know due to “buka aib suami” in hopes sharing here would help me to get answers on what I should do.
Saya dan suami kenal bermula dari berkawan, i had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend.
My relationship with my ex wasn’t great, it was an absolute toxic that even our friends could see. Be the time me and my ex kenal my husband and his ex, we started to lepak frequently.
Sometimes I’d ask advices from my husband about my ex since man should know one another.
But after a while, I realised that he’s starting to develop feelings for me. We started from there but our relationship weren’t so much different might be because I’m hot-headed.
At some phase id change myself to fit into him or situations. I realize that he can’t handle being yelled at so I changed my ways of communicating by being calmer even when I’m mad.
After a few months, we started living together and one day my housemates’ money got stolen and no one knew who it was since there’s more than 8 people living under the same roof.
After my contract ended, we moved to a condo with a couple of friends. Their money started to go missing too.
I even bring him home to chill with my family cause im a family person and one day my brother’s money gone missing. At this moment i knew something is wrong.
I knew it’s him since wherever i bring him there’s always money missing from someone’s wallet. Things got rough, lying become normal, denial, things gone from bad to worst so i chose to walk out from the relationship.
After 3 months, we can’t seem to forget each other and he was asking for a second chance.
I believe everyone deserves a second chance so I said yes. We dated for a few and got engaged.
A day before our engagement, i found out he lied about going to work when he actually quit his job for a week since then.
I cried and my heart was shattered knowing i got lied to a day before a very important day.
I called my mom telling her that I can’t do this but you know how malay moms like “semua dah ready, nanti malu dua dua belah keluarga. Proceed jelah nanti nak putus ke apa pandai pandai lah.”.
So we proceed and he tried to make things up between us. After months gone by, one day i called and texted yet received no answers. I started to feel like a fool for staying so long in a corrupted relationship.
I started talking with a guy i had a fling with and found out late at night that my husband kena cekup in the morning due to kes scamming few years back. I was disappointed, and he was tired.
We broke up again. Kami putus tunang but just between us, we didn’t do it traditionally by giving back hantaran or anything, yet both family knows.
After four months, i found out that he’s working far from home and being independent and working to be a better person. I believed in it.
I was devastated the whole four months, tried to replace him with so many people that I’ve met but non of them succeed. I approached him tanya khabar and so on.
We talked again and he bought me a plane ticket to go and see him. Talked to a close friend about it, asking advices, either i should go or not.
Knowing me, she said ive never been happier being with anyone except for him despite his imperfections.
So i did, it was a few magical moments meeting him again and seeing him mature from the last time i saw him. He convinced me and we got married. Tapi.
Sehari sebelum nikah, i dapat call dari kawan bagitahu dia berhutang for quite alot which made me super upset because we talked about having no debts entering the marriage and even asked him if he has any and ofcourse he lied and said no.
I felt stupid, so so stupid that idk what to believe anymore.
Everything was ready, everyone was ready. I told him, after 3 months of marriage, we’ll get divorce. I can’t be in a marriage with a total stranger. He was sad and tried his best to comfort me. After praying, i berserah pada Allah.
As a newly wed, I believe it’s normal to have financial issues for the first few months. So i didnt make a fuss out of it and try to cope with things.
Yet he changed, we talk less, he’d sleep earlier, id be waiting for him to eat but end up eating alone, talked to him about these issues but nothing changes.
Today, i found out, it’s happening again. He stole my brother’s money, and lied to me about alot of things. This makes me feel like i should just walk out from this marriage before things gets worse.
Idk either i made a mistake by going back to him, or this is a test. What should i do?
– Mia (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit