My husband was raised in a typical weird Malay + Chinese family…
His parents preferred to sleep separately and have different rooms…
Whereas I was born in a very loving Malay family…
My father never left my mom and they will always go to bed together…
No matter how bad they had quirrel, they still sleep together & have pillow talks/ deep talk in bed…
Until my father passed away last year, they still sleep together and close to each other, side by side…
Surprisingly, after almost 19 years of marriage… my husband followed his parents foot steps…
He complained that our younger son disturbed our sleeping & the King Bed is not big enough…
Because of that, he can’t sleep well and needed a space…
So that he will move to another room for comfort…
I told him to accompany our son to sleep in other room and come back…
But he said he’s too tired and fall asleep…
Weirdly, sometimes he looks comfortable sleeping with my son alone without me…
Now, I think it’s all just an excuses…
Last night my son slept peacefully in other room with his brother…
My husband come home very late…
After Subuh, he slowly go down and still prefer to sleep separately in other room…
I think it’s in his gene!
No matter how many times i have told him that I’m not comfortable with sleeping separately…
He still do it..
At first, i felt rejected and sad…
Now, i feel cheated, angry & confuse…
I feel alone, only needed when wanted and not appreciated…
This is not a good feeling…
I think I’m not happy anymore…
This kind of life is making me misserable & full of anger…
This is not the life that i imagine to lived in…
Seems like we’re not growing old together…
Instead, we grew old separately…
I love all my 3 sons…
But i want to love myself more…
I’m not sure if this happens because he is having middle 50’s crisis…
My husband is 10 years older than me…
I don’t want to be aged earlier than I should be…
If my parents can happily sleep together side by side until the end…
Why can’t we?
And the most important thing is… am i happy?
– Mummy (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit