Assalamualaikum,
Andai kata penulisan ni diterima terima kasih ye admin .
confession ni rojak sikit sebab aku jenis suka mix bm n bi. Kalau ada yang tak suka maaf lah ye
First , let me introduce myself, my name is lina . Bukan student UIA . Belajar dekat local university dekat pantai timur.
Page ni memang hari-hari aku bukak dan baca sebabnya aku suka baca kisah orang lain. Info pun banyak jugak yang berguna . Take the good things and leave the bad things. gitu . Aku tulis confession ni sebabnya aku perlu nasihat daripada sesiapa lah yang sudi . Aku mohon janganlah ada yang kecam , Aku kalau boleh nak solution .
Okay, my story is that baru-baru ni I had a huge argument with my closest friend. Bergaduh sampai semua left group and no one speaks to one another anymore. Hal kecik je sebenarnya. It start off with a joke. Lepastu tiba-tiba jadi serious. Then, mulalah mengungkit benda-benda lama yang dah lepas yang semua tak puas hati. I thought we were friends . Rupanya lama dah diorang pendam nak cakap . Tak tahu kenapa jadi macam tu malam tu , Maybe lama sangat kot diorang pendam. Fine, aku boleh terima korang tiba2 nak burst macam ni. tapi kenapa aim aku sorang je. aku paling banyak benda diorang condemn.I thought lepas I said sorry and all its going to be fine kan. but no. They choose to cut ties with me. Yup, all of them .
You know kenapa aku rasa kecewa sangat. sebab apa yang diorang tak puas hati tu ,benda kecil je (for me)and im still in the process to change that myself. sebab apa? mostly because of my FACIAL EXPRESSION .and muka aku ni naturally memang muka yang tak friendly. memang tak mesra alam. Orang boleh cakap . alah alasan je tu . senangje , senyum je . Senyum . You know its not easy to smile all the time and its tiring , very tiring . And sebab tulah aku cakap im still trying to fix it .Fyi, aku ni jenis susah nak socialise dengan orang, susah sangat .Tapi when it comes to presenting at the front, I had no trouble at all and I felt confident. But when it comes to making friends, I suck so hard at it .Jadinya bila aku dah ada kawan aku akan cherished and try hard gila untuk tak ruin the friendship. Tapi diorang senang2 ja tinggal aku. siapa tak sedih .
Aku harap sangat diorang cuba faham aku. Bukan semua orang dibesarkan dengan cara yang sama . Or maybe dia ada bad experience yang membuatkan dia susah untuk approach orang . Lain orang lain cara. Pleaselah jangan buang orang tu dalam hidup kau just sebab you can get a better friends. Benda ni beri kesan sangat dekat aku . Aku jadi takut , takut nak berkawan .takut kena buang macam tu je , susah nak percaya orang .Sudahlah aku ni memang low self esteem . It does not help me to be better. Masa sekolah dulu ingat lagi selalu kena pulau(isolated) without no reason. Maybe diorang tahu. But, I never knew the reason why I get such treatment from them. Aku masa sekolah dulu jugak selalu kena ejek about my physical appearance. Not to mention selalu jugak kena buli . But , I never told anyone. Because I was afraid i would annoy them with my problem and I would have no friends again.
Bayangkan all those jadi masa aku kecik tau. Tapi. kesan dia sampai sekarang .And aku sejujurnya tak tahu nak buat apa dah. I’m clueless. So aku nak tanya korang apa yang aku perlu buat so that my past experience wont haunt me anymore and I finally get to make some friends. I almost diagnosed with depression . I think I had it now. So, please any physciathrist here, please tell me what to do. I couldnt afford to meet one. i hope I spelled that right. Or anyone boleh je bagi aku advice. I would appreciate it very much.
I dont know how to write beautiful essay. I hope this is good enough.Thank you so much for spending your time to read this. Thank you jugak to the admin if this confession ever make it out there.
-Aku yang tak tahu nak fit in the society –
– SZ
Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit