Salam and tq admin if u approved my story.
Just wanna confess something. I have a problem that when im stressed i will cut my hair real real short hoping that i can be a new me and i will forget the past immediately.
Have u ever faced with same kind of problem like me? I have this demon thoughts that whenever i feel angry i kinda imagining im going to kill the person who messed with me.
Ada satu masa my lil brother tak basuh pinggan dia. And i feel like taking the knife and kill him right away or stabbed him thousand times.
Kadang i feel very lonely. I wanna cry all the time at my bed’s corner and i dont want to do anything. I wanna just cry all day long. Sometimes rasa nak kurung diri dalam bilik yang gelap sangat. Ada cahaya matahari je maybe. And with the birdies sounds and i wanna hear the environment around me, dying. I love that.
I love that lonely feeling. People said i have the deepest sorrowness. But i like that. Like i am very dark and u are afraid of me even with my shadow. Kalau kau kat rumah i suka duduk sorang sorang. I tak suka ada orang lain dalam rumah i. I nak i sorang je.
For your information, ive had cut myself few times using my nails. Not a terrible one just a lil cut here and there. And i feels the satisfaction. I wanna people see that im hurt. Im hurt by their action.
Sometimes in the morning i take a walk deep inside the forest near my house. I walk alone most of the time. The fogs companied me and its kind of represent the forest sadness. I mean the fogs. They just great. They are like the sadness in my heart, surround me and im trapped inside.
You might say im crazy but i love the feeling of being alone. So much. I love to be drowned into my sadness and sorrow. And my mom keeps complaining that i have to go out and socialize with people. But i refused to. People have hurt me so many times.
Back then, in my highschool, i used to be a victim of verbal bully. And how it impacts me so much that makes me turned out to be someone i am today.
I just realized that eventually i need a cure. A cure for my demon thoughts and everything. Please help me. I just dont wanna be hurt again.
If you can suggest me 2 or 3 tips on how to cope with my habit and so on, please do cause i appreciate it so much. Please do comment.
– Depress
Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit