My period cycle is normal. I get regular period every month without a missed and I did not faced any period pain. Alhamdulillah
I never get pregnant since we were married. I mean, I never miscarriage.
We spent all our saving for infertility treatments, needles and painful procedures.
IUI
I went through 2 cycles of IUI last year. I remembered during the first HCG procedures (to X-ray my tube Fallopian). The doctor injected blue liquid to vagina and see how it flows in my tube using X-ray. After the procedure, I almost fainted and can’t walk. My vagina bleeding. I told myself don’t cry. Even though I felt like my tummy was about to explode.
Husband also went through the sperm analysis on the same day and the percentage came out is normal. Alhamdulillah
My result came out – one of my tube was blocked. The doctor explained that it was not a serious case because I still can get pregnant with the other tube. But the chances left are 50%. So we decided for 1st IUI.
On the next cycle, the doctor gave me chlomid per day to produce more eggs in my uterus. A week later, I came back to scan and I was very happy with 3 matured eggs. We scheduled on IUI procedure 3 days later. which is during my fertile period.
Husband need to donate his sperm and went for analysis so that only healthy sperm will be injected in me. The process takes about half of the day and the doctor successfully injected through vagina.
But then, I get my menses by the end of cycle.
After the trauma of failing my first IUI, I was immediately mock for not trying hard enough. The next month I forced myself again for IUI. My husband gently talk to me to wait and it is okay its failed. But I keep on blaming myself.
We went through second IUI but with hormone injections and chlomid. I need to jabs them by myself every night for a week. It is not easy to take care of foods, mood swings and changes on your body due to taking hormone injections. I put on weight, and pimples everywhere.
As a result. My second IUI also failed. Come to think about it again, maybe I wasn’t ready and I forced myself too much.
After a while, I stop blaming myself and I avoid society who only push me over the edge with statement like “merancang ke?” or “let your husband remarry” or “siapa bermasalah, you or your husband?”. It hurts. There is no such thing of merancang and all because we all know and understand the purpose of marriage is to have zuriat from a halal relationships. And it is even painful when the person who asked not even married yet?
Having friends who is taking advantages by selling their supplements. When I refused to buy, they asked me back “So you didn’t really want it, right?” Sigh. To be honest i have tried some of it, maybe it just doesn’t work with my body. It doesn’t mean I don’t want it.
We have scheduled for IVF approximately end of this year. Please, please pray for us. I do accepted whatever has written by Allah swt to me and I hope this will bring me closer to Him. I am extremely happy and grateful with life that God gave me but as a human, I am still greedy. I really want a child.
I respect women who has going through this for years. I prayed all of us will get what we always wanted – child. And the society, if you can’t say nice things, just keep quiet. You really have no idea what we have been through mentally and physically to get a child.
– Angel
Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit