Assalammualaikum. Lately terlalu banyak confessions tentang ‘bujang’, dan tidak kurang comments yang menentang pendirian seseorang confessor itu, di mana dia di-label sebagai insecure, ‘tidak laku’, ‘tidak ikut sunnah’, etc.
Saya juga seorang perempuan bujang, berumur sekitar akhir 20-an. Perkongsian yang seterusnya akan saya lakukan dalam bahasa Inggeris (since ada confession yang dikecam kerana mencampur-adukkan bahasa). I hope we can all read with open hearts and minds.
This is my first ever sharing on social media; I rarely write online because 1) my thoughts are not interesting, and 2) who cares? But this topic resonates very closely.
I too was once that girl who thinks I need no man, but Allah had a greater plan and hence I had my first relationship at 22. It was perfect for a moment, until I was made to feel like I wasn’t enough.
When asked about my ambitions, I was told that my duty as a wife is to be at home. When my opinions and interactions were deemed liberal, my parents were blamed for my ‘poor’ upbringing.
But I learnt after years, that I was enough, and that no person has any right to judge and downgrade you when your views and opinions are not the same. It takes a little learning, but we all have to learn to agree to disagree.
I was cheated on (during long-distance) and he got married. I never had the closure I wanted but looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Only perhaps, I’d pray a little harder for Allah to have granted me a bit more strength to endure (as I was really in a bad place).
He was once my ‘Jodoh’ but it did not last, and I liked to think that my ‘Jodoh’ got a free upgrade because Allah has promised, “good women are for good men”.
I prayed that he would have a lasting marriage, and I prayed too that no person would have to go through what I went through. But his ideals were not wrong. He wanted an obeying housewife; he has every right to marry such women.
The process regarding ‘Jodoh’ is very mysterious and sort of beautiful. You met a person for a month and got married, good for you. You married your partner of 10 years, good for you. You marry for religion or wealth or out of responsibility or just peer pressure, good for you. You withhold marriage, you do you.
What you want in a partner (or life in general) is your right to strive for. Nothing happens accidentally; who are we to judge and to predict (or inadvertently pray) on outcomes. What we can do is to better ourselves (and the people around us) and to work on many other goals.
Marriage is not the only form of ‘Ibadah’. Our responsibility to our parents, integrity in our work, honesty and politeness in our speech, these are all things that equally matter.
– Anonymous (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit