How scary it is if one to ask me what marriage feels like, my answer is, lonely.
Though not be new to many wives out there, it is scary because one of the things you ought to attain in marriage is companionship. With such expectation, it strikes the loneliness even more.
Because everything feels like your own battle. From making sure the house chores are done, even fixing lights which was never my task prior marriage.
The husband expected everything perfect when he lays no finger on the chores. And I was expected to carry at least half of his commitments.
Really it’s not about the chores per se but caging me in these situations- whenever I talk about it wanting and needing help, I am shut out.
Not once not twice but many times I could no longer tell. Like someday I know this kind of day comes and I hope I am no longer affected by this anymore.
What a lonely place to be.
Worst when they never knew how shitty they made us feel.
When people say communication is the key, and I did communicate to my best ability and adab, what I got in return is to be placed in a silent treatment room, I really don’t know.
I know we shouldn’t be placing our hopes in our spouse. I know happiness is not sourced from them. I know it all.
But just when my husband will ever realise how lonely he is making this marriage for me.
I hope some days will come and I am no longer affected by this. I wish I could walk away easily. The wound never heals and continues to bleed.
– The lonely wife (Bukan nama sebenar)
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Just get a divorce