Hi semua.. First of all, aku ni jenis yang circle kecik, jadi untuk cari pasangan memang susah and ended up aku banyak guna platform yang ada. Macam2 aku cuba and it never works well.
Ada yang aku kenal laki orang, ada yang aku kenal gatal sangat and macam2 lagi.
Ada yang okay, tapi perkenalan online ni dia tak sama dengan jumpa depan2. Banyak try and error.
Aku pernah try jadi forward, macam ajak jumpa apa semua but rupanya h**ny, so tak jadilah jumpa. Memang blacklisted terus.
Aku pernah try jadi laid back, follow the flow kata orang. Pun ended up conversation berat sebelah.
I felt like I share more about my life than him, and untuk jaga hati sendiri, aku tk voice out pun nk jumpa. Tau2 senyap je hilang. Sama ada aku accidentally ghosted dia or dia pun ghosted aku.
Aku pernah try come forward yang memang awal2 cakap, I’m serious and if you’re not interested, boleh je unmatch. After a while, of course aku got unmatch kan hahaha maybe salah strategi la kot.
So basically, aku rasa aku dah try macam2 cara. Tapi semua macam entahlah either aku salah or pihak lelaki salah.
I tried to be more inclusive dalam conversation, not working. I tried to be slow, pun not working. Entahlah.
Aku baca lelaki bila suka ni nampak and lelaki suka chasing la macam2 la facts aku baca online. Kadang2 rasa macam dia interested, tapi 2 3 hari je. Lepas tu senyap. Mostly alasan busy.
For me, kalau busy sangat, tak perlu cari lah, because bila u ada intention nak kenal dengan perempuan, meaning u have the time put aside for the commitment,
Tapi kalau setakat ajak borak berapa minit or sejam dua pun kau busy, takyah lah, duduk je single, tak payah buat profile looking for relationship.
Aku tak taulah, aku faham people can be busy but if you want to make it work, you kena FIND THE TIME.
Perempuan like me yang dah mid 30s, jarang dia nak start a conversation or anything without thinking about marriage at the back of her mind.
Perempuan pun busy, ingat kitorang goyang kaki tunggu makanan, duit jatuh dari langit ke. Tidak. Semua busy, but we find the time.
Wallahi, perempuan this age sebenarnya sangatlah lembut hati if we can see the time spent to get to know her online or offline. Walaupun, maybe dia tak suka mula2 tapi senang weyh hati nak cair. Betul.
Aku rasa ramai lelaki kat luar sana memang nak give it a try online (yang serious la bukan gatal2) tapi it takes two to tango.
Kalau memanjang alasan kau bagi busy, kau ingat perempuan nak tunggu ke. Dia akan assume kau memang tak minat dah and dia akan move on.
Walaupun kau memang busy and still ada interest. Especially, kalau kau bagi mixed signal, mula nampak interested siap sweet2 la, walaupun berapa hari kenal then tiba2 hilang.
Perempuan kadang2 dia sabar lagi, dia bagi lagi chance beberapa hari tp that’s it. No more.
Entahlah, for me, aku rasa aku pun ada silap, kita manusia kan, but I tried this and that jugak.
Mestilah after several online match tapi tak works, kita akan analyse, mistake kat mana. If I felt, it is my mistake, okay maybe next time I try the other way around.
Aku penat terima alasan “busy” because I know myself, aku jenis suka buat hal aku, I don’t really chat with anyone so I have the habit utk reply lambat even with anyone, tapi aku cuba untuk jadi attentive bila match with someone.
Sebab aku tau, I need to put extra time and work to make it work especially awal2 nak kenal.
Lagi2 online, at least a month before nak jumpa tu, effort tu kena nampak and kena sampai ada level of trust dari pihak dia or perempuan sbb nak jumpa kan.
Nowadays, banyak gila topik boleh borak, tak limited okay. Bukan setakat tanya u makan, i makan apa.
Feelings ni kadang2 kita yang kena develop dia, and utk develop, u kena put some work la, bukan mengharapkan perasaan tu datang naturally.
Yang datang naturally tu, suka at the first look tp after that kena la pupuk.
Even married couple pun, they still need to work and ensure the love is blossoming bukan 100% harap naturally stays je feeling sayang tu kan.
Aku banyak kali nak give up cari jodoh ni, tapi bila fikir2 balik, tengok orang happy, tengok kisah2 nabi, sahabat nabi, lembut balik hati ni, try la lagi sekali. Maybe it’s going to work this time.
Tu je confession aku, just nak share my frustration or view dalam pencarian jodoh di alam maya ni tak senang kalau kita tak belajar and improve especially dalam two side communication.
– S (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit