Salam sejahtera semua. Hai I’m Karim, dah pun 3 series namun masih belum berkahwin kerana workaholic dan nak kejar passion untuk bergelar Dr. Mula-mula sambung phd, i was so excited & highly motivated untuk teruskan belajar.
I was a performer in some aspects but sometimes quite slow in handling equipments because lack of knowledge and experience. Disebabkan kekurangan itu, I selalu kena maki dengan my respected prof.
At first I was cold hearted, don’t even mind to be scolded in front of public even though Im already a phd student, but lately I just discovered that how bodoh I am to let me being humiliated for past 4 years of my life and it’s very embarassing . Im at the peak of my study and should finish next year but now i just feel the real pressure of my study, not because of my project but because of prof’s attitude.
He keep badmouthing about me to his other students, and maki i depan student degree & master dia. I don’t mind to be scolded because of my fault but untuk merendah-rendahkan i, membodohkan i dan menghina status family i, i can never accept them. Bilamana i ada financial problem and can’t afford to pay any conference fees, he’ll maki me again and would say “ni susah hire student miskin ni”. How could he say that to me?!
Bila parents i sakit and i need to go home then he would say “next time tak payah datang belajar, quit je terus pergi jaga parents u”. Then when one of my family members died, and I wanna go home dia akan cakap “time-time macam ni lah nak mati”. I cried terus sebab how dare dia cakap macam tu when I’m still sad for the loss.
At last i quit my phd because i can’t stand with his harsh words. I just don’t have any respect to him anymore. Apa guna belajar kalau kita dah tak ada rasa hormat dengan guru? Nature of teaching and learning is to respect our teachers right? but i can’t respect him anymore and he don’t deserve my respect at all.
After quitting, I feel very calm. Lega tak perlu nak dengar orang maki I lagi. And i bersyukur sebab sekarang i dah sambung phd kat tempat lain dengan sv yang jauh lebih baik dari my previous prof. To all students out there yang ada nasib yang sama seperti i, jangan rasa bersalah untuk quit from your misery life. It’s not wrong at all, and sometimes your worst decision today can lead you to a better life, like me.
I memang sedih quit phd yang dulu sebab almost finish tapi i just can’t stand anymore with him and now I’m happy with my life, no more misery and i enjoy my phd journey very much. I don’t only get a good sv but also a best friend since our age tak jauh sangat beza.
Good luck to all phd survivors and if you feel like quitting, just do it and rise up again. Life is a choice, choose a happy life okey. Salam…
– Karim
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit