Untuk part I, (https://iiumc.com/tips-macam-mana-nak-jadi-su4mi-yang-terbaik/).
Assalammualaikum and Hi once again.
Just nak sambung sikit regarding my confession previously about tips on how to become the best husband.
First of all I don’t wanna talk about the previous marriage. Past is past don’t want to bother anymore.
And the reason why im writing the previous confession before is not I nak menunjuk or beriye.
Is it wrong if as an individual I would like to get knowledge from the experience one? Isn’t it the best platform to get knowledge is from the one with a lot of experience?
Tapi segelintir je yang sudi share. But no worries im still looking forward to the good individual who like to share knowledge about it and less judgmental. Sebab I still want to do the best for my partner nanti.
But some of you ada yang comments like jangan terlalu beriye, jangan terlalu memberi and ada yang comments like learn from the previous marriage.
Actually the tips that I wrote before mostly I learn from the experience by watching other people’s live like my siblings, parents, friends and learn through observation through stranger how their communication with their spouse.
Also during the previous marriage I have ask a lot on ‘why2’ Allah ask for this in marriage why husband or wife need to do this or that and so on and what is the reason behind it all and how it can contribute to create love in our marriage relationship.
And how to make sure our love in marriage is long lasting sebab ramai isteri sekarang still bertahan tapi mostly dah tawar hati dengan suami sendiri. And ramai suami yang kurang menghargai isteri. I taknak jadi macamtu.
So just nak repeat again tips yang I consider is crucial in relationship supaya dua2 happy. Sebab dalam hidup ni kena ada give and take.
1. I always remind my partner. Dalam hidup berpasangan ni perasaan sayang dan cinta akan hilang d telan masa.
Sebab cinta dan sayang bukan milik manusia but milik Allah. When you are together with me don’t make effort to make me fall in love first or create love in our relationship.
But kita sama2 doa dan minta kat Allah nikmat cinta dan sayang tu at the same time kita usaha create wasilah agar cinta dan sayang tu mudah untuk Allah anugerahkan dalam hubungan kita.
2. Communication is the most crucial one. I agree during my previous marriage I failed on the communication.
So for this time I try to make up for it. But this time I don’t want to do it by myself I nak sertakan Allah sekali dan partner saya dalam usaha saya.
Sebab for me dalam hubungan perkahwinan kena sertakan Allah dalam setiap perkara dan partner. Dan kena bijak merancang dengan partner agar mudah untuk kita jalankan impian marriage life yang kita rancang.
– Memasak, morning hug, after working hug, and night hug, buat doa spesific untuk menghargai dan memuliakan isteri, pillow talk adalah part of the communication.
And no worries I always tell my partner. Pape dalam hubungan suami isteri ni communication is the key.
I tahu I ada plan I ape yang I nak buat umtuk my wife nanti. And I tahu dia pun sendiri ada plan ape yang dia nak buat untuk saya nanti. So I remind her. Don’t make effort for this relationship individually.
Always involve me, inform me and lets plan together. I cakap. Kalau nak bahagia, kita merancang untuk bahagia sama2, I tak nak dia merancang and berusaha untuk bahagia sorang2 if the results not like she expect then dia yang akan sedih sendiri.
Tapi it will be different if we plan it together because I know what type of marriage life yang dia inginkan.
And dia pun akan tahu what type of marriage life yang I inginkan then from there it will be easy untuk plan our marriage communication.
3. About financial planning, setiap financial planning ada pros and cons dia. Tapi kenapa bagi saya lagi baik duit gaji tu bagi semua kat isteri sebab.
Marriage life yang saya nak rancang bukan banyak tentang awak bayar ni saya bayar tu. Awak tanggung ni saya tanggung tu. Tapi saya nak lebihkan kepada kita.
Berapa expenses kita this month and so on. Or berapa belanja anak kita bulan ni. Or if nak bercuti ke mana2 cukup tak bajet kita tuk bercuti.
So more kepada kita bukan kepada saya awak. But as I said setiap financial planning ada pros and cons dia.
4. Minta Izin actually is also part of communication tapi saje nak asingkan sebab ni kira topik berat untuk kaum hawa.
Awal2 lagi saya dah cakap kat partner saya. After married if saya nak dia inform and dapatkan keizinan dari saya boleh tentang money and everything? And no worries I will also do the same.
Alhamdulillah dia okay. Sebab tu I choose her. And of course in every topic about marriage yang I talk or share to her I will always bring her to look at the bigger picture kesan dia d masa akan datang.
Inform and get permission is not about tanggungjawab sebagai isteri kena dapat izin suami actually.
Actually kenapa Allah kata setiap perbuatan isteri tu kena dapat izin suami from what I understand after thinking about this a lot is.
Bila isteri sentiasa inform and dapatkan izin suami in everything she do and if suami also do the same to his wife.
Rasa di hargai, rasa diri kita sentiasa ada dalam kamus hidup pasangan kita, and kita always rasa sentiasa perlukan pasangan untuk update and minta izin saling bergantung antara satu sama lain.
InsyaAllah jika dapat d laksanakan dengan izin dan pertolongan Allah. Effect dia mesti besar for long terms relationship.
Last but least, just nak remind myself dan semua individu yang mencari nikmat cinta dan sayang dalam hubungan. Allah ada cakap dalam Al-Quran, dia la pemilik cinta bukan manusia.
So sape yang sudi bagi saya tips on how to be good husband saya hargai sangat sangat. No worries in every action and plan I will always sertakan Allah and my partner. I dah taknak rancang sorang2.
Towards individu yang bagus sudi share tips2 yang berguna bukan terhad untuk saya tapi also kepada suami2 and bakal2 suami dekat luar sana terima kasih saya ucapkan..
Semoga Allah sentiasa merahmati hubungan perkahwinan kamu with lot of love and care with your partner sampai jannah dan berbahagia hingga ke syurga.
– Azmi (Bukan nama sebenar)
Hantar confession anda di sini -> https://iiumc.com/submit