Hi assalamualaikum admin and readers. This is my first time posting here and i hope admin approves my story.
I love my mom with all my heart. And ever since i was a child , i have been a witness to my mother’s suffering.
My mom is the best mom i can ever ask for, everytime i look back at her sacrifices, my eyes waters.
One of my earliest memory is seeing my mom cry. Though i didn’t understand anything, i always knew something was wrong. My mom is a mualaf though she never had a proper education on Islam, she has the qualities of a good muslimah. And for that i admire her so much.
She has always been the one to provide for the family from head to toe. While my dad stayed home and do nothing but play video games on pc and watching tv leaving us unorganised and in neglect. She would come home only to see us in the same pyjamas in which we woke up into on that very same day, meaning we didn’t mandi since we woke up. After a tiring day at work, she comes home to feed and bathe us. While my dad goes to clubs and spend my mother’s money on expensive alcohols.
I grew up watching my hot tempered dad beat my mom. I remember him throwing a stand fan at my mom while she did nothing but cry. I wanted to protect her but i was scared to death, we were living in constant fear as we were the victim of our dad’s temper too. My dad’s family wasn’t any help either. In fact they were bullies as we stayed with our nenek and my dad’s sisters which made the place we called home a living hell.
Some years later, my mom informed us that we were moving and will no longer live together with my dad . I didn’t ask why, all i wanted to know was WHEN. The thought of leaving brought me so much joy that i cried. Finally after many many years, for the first time i saw that my mom was happy. Living with just us was so peaceful without the constant yelling and beatings from my dad. For the first time we were happy.
One day while we were talking, i asked my mom why she made the decision to move out after so many years. She just said she was tired of it all, the beatings, the cheatings. I never knew about the other women that dad had. Turns out everytime he would hit my mom is because she confronted him about the affairs. Men being men, never willing to admit a mistake so he beat her instead for “trespassing ” his privacy. Sigh how i admire my mom’s patience.
Though living on our own made us so happy, it was still difficult. We had financial problems. So in order to put food on the table for us, my mom asked my dad for money. As she should. Separate or not, by Islamic law the father must provide nafkah for the kids right? He did gave us money every time we asked. But unexpectedly, he claimed that my mom owes him a few thousand ringgit. Confused, she asked when did she ever borrowed any money from him? Turns out the “nafkah” for us is just bagi pinjam and my mom has to pay back every penny. Sigh. How could a father be so berkira like this. And not to mention, earlier in their marriage, my dad applied for several loans under my mom’s name, allegedly to start a business. Apparently the business failed which resulted in my mom full of debts which he didn’t even have the courtesy to pay back. My most IS still paying for those damned debts okay. And yet she never complained, she never ungkit. She never demand any payment. And untill today i can never forgive my dad. I respect him as my dad, but i have no love for him. Pray for me, pray that i achieve my dreams so that i can give my mother a comfortable life. She deserves it after so many years of suffering.
To the men reading this, please don’t be like my father. What he did not only cost him a wonderful most kind hearted woman, but his kids as well. What he did drove us away. And to the women suffering the same fate, i pray you find your strength to stand up for yourself, you deserve to be happy. Thank you and sorry in advance if my way of writing is tunggang terbalik.
– no one
Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit