Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Im a medic student. I’ll be entering 5th semester this september, which will be my 1st semester for clinical years. That day, while chatting with my mom, I asked her is it okay if I want to quit doing medicine. I told her I didn’t have the “heart” to study medicine and be a doctor. I have this doubt in myself whether Im capable to be a doctor since 3rd semester. I’ve told my parents about this doubt before, but they kept encouraging me to try my best in this field. This is what I love about my parents, they never failed to give encouragement to my siblings and I to do our best in life. And they really encourage me to be a doctor as it is a noble job, we have a lot of chances to help others, to do good. Besides, I’ve been exposed to this medical world since I was born as one of my parents is a doctor.
I know it is a really noble job, and I really hope I can be one of those doctors that not only heal diseases, but also can be an inspiration to others. As example Prof Muhaya and Dr Sheikh Muszaphar. But I know my own abilities, passion and capabilities. And I dont think medicine is my passion. It is my fault to apply for medicine after I finish my foundation in science without deep thinking and further research. Then after 2 years of pre clinical study, I found out this is not what I want to do in life.
My father overheard my conversation with my mom (about quitting medic). The next day, I seek his permission to go out with my childhood friends, but then he said I cant go out with them and told me I need to stop befriend with my non-medical friends, as if my friends were the ones who influnced me to quit medicine. I was shocked by that, and told him that’s not true. Quitting medicine is my own decision, not influenced by anyone or anything.
I was so sad about that. I told him that everyone has their own struggle in their studies and medic is not the only course that is difficult. Other courses are also difficult and important to be learned. This raya, I had enough praise from relatives and my friends’ parents, just because I study medicine. When I took a glance at my friends (who didnt study medic), they seems annoyed with all those praises from their parents to me. For me, medic is just like other courses, and other courses are as important as medic.
I think this is our mentality that being a doctor is a noble and respected job. But parents out there should realise that other jobs in this world are noble if it is meant to help others. A cook is a noble job, a firefighter, salesmen, even a cobbler is doing noble job helping others. You should support your child’s dream and give them knowledge about their dreams. As example, if they want to become a football player, send them to football classes since they were kids. If they want to be a chef, send them to vocasional school and cooking classes. If your child are interested in art stream, dont force them into science stream, just because their friends are in science stream.
But right now I was in dilemma whether I should continue doing medicine or not. If I continue, this is what will make my parents happy and proud of me. And Im not sure if switching to other course is a good idea.
Furthermore, Im under Jpa scholarship, and if I didnt finish my study in medicine and work for government, I need to pay back a huge amount of money, which Im afraid will be a burden to my parents. At the end of the day, I just want to make them happy and proud of me, but I dont want to waste my life doing something Im not passionate about.
If there’s akak2 or abang2 who have gone through same situation as me, I would be happy to hear your stories and advice on how to tackle this situation. Thank u :)
P/s: feel free to give feedback in malay. Im just typing in english to brush up my writing skills . Hehe
– Dalam dilema
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