Hidayah utk Adam(s) – https://iiumc.com/forumv2/
First of all, I would like to thank admin for posting this as it would be my greatest concern for guys out there to understand why some girls get turned off easily.
Dear Adam(s),
I know that most of girls would find that it is interesting once they know that there is act someone who is into them, some might probably even start to fantacize the beautiful life after marriage, especially for those who are reluctant to pursue for any relationship prior to marriage where the husband would treat her so so so well till Jannah (giteww). As for me, I have my own certain standards set on a guy that I believe he needs to prove himself worth for me to submit myself as a wife to him till Jannah (giteww lagiii). And one of the most controversial standards that has been actively discussed by most of bachelors is the ability/ potential for the guy to be the bread winner for the family or to prepare all the household necessities as the ketua keluarga. Frankly speaking, you guys can't blame a girl for being extra concern on your financial compatibility cuz guess what? you never know what the girl has been through before in her life, probably she had suffered before seeing her mother struggling as the bread-winner in the family, providing the house, cars, groceries, assets, pocket moneys and so on so on…, while her AYAH acting as if he is the wife asking money from the mother. This is kinda frustrating since we believe as kaum Adam, you guys are obliged to provide the nafkah, or at least, strive to be the ketua keluarga who is worth to earn the respects. I sometimes pity towards those who approached me, showing interest to "get to know" me when I just chose to abandon or friend-zone them once I think that they are lacking of the potential to be the bread winner for the family, even some of those actually have the "agama" and characters (like suka tolong orang and disukai orang ramai). Let me give you my current situation as in my point of view, it's kinda legit example. I'm currently studying overseas.The major (or org M'sia call it as course) that I'm taking isn't something easy esp when you study among mat saleh. Regardless, I am also taking a part-time job working at the campus. Most of my working shifts are late nights which cause me to get back from work at 12 or 1 am. Most of ppl may work cuz they want to have extra money for travelling. As for me, that is only my second choice (though I traveled a lot already act. lol) as my main focus is to raise my savings for future investment (well you got to plan well to be a successful opportunist right?). I study and work at the same time as to fulfill my vision. I can see that most of the people who share the same thought as mine are girls, while, guys (well i know it's not right for me to generalize) – probably i'll go with this particular guy, he isnt working but still failed in some of his classes. What do u expect a response from a girl like me if u try to approach me???? Living in this globalized world, you need to plan well and manifest your plannings through actions. I know that some might say "itu sume dunia, yg penting isteri taat and you boleh masuk mana2 pintu syurga". Well how I wish I could be that simple-minded. For me, I want both dunya and akhirah and I strongly believe for those who strive will gain. Some say I'm not a typical Malay but still my priority for choosing a spouse would be a Malay guy compared to mat saleh but unfortunately, Idk why, I sometimes have this kind of feeling that I might end up with a visionary Mat Saleh who is passionate to strive for BOTH, dunya and akhirah. But, still that doesn't fade my hope to meet a Malay guy with that similar criteria in the future. InsyaAllah.
Please lah faham and shift your paradigms.
Syukran.
– Hawa Penat