Jangan main2kan hati

Hai. Hello. Assalamualaikum. Thanks to admin sbb approve. Sy just nk confess,atau erti kata lain nk share cerita as pengajaran. Some people might say cerita basi, apa2 pengajaran yg korg dpt, ambillah iktibar. To be honest, i am an oversea student. I get to know a guy before kita org dpt result spm. Yes. I come from a single gender high school. To be precise, Single gender Islamic High School. I have jawatan tinggi dkt sekolah and among top 3 student dkt sekolah. Bkn nk bangga diri, xkisah la korg yg mmbca ni nk kata apa, but just nk share part, bila tuhan nk uji hati. Sy yg pilih nk masuk sekolah agama, satu gender by myself. Sbb sejarah senior2 yg baik2(dulu sekolah ni ada lelaki dn prmpuan but jadi single gender since sy form 2). Sy dtg sekolah daily, by kereta and ada je kwn2 lelaki dkt tusyen luar. Tp xliar sbb hp pon xde masa tu. So mmg xblh nk contact. Everything mak ayah tahu. Until one day, in one program, i used to impressed to a boy dkt program perkasa diri. Kami brkwn sbb tgk dri cara dia yg mnjaga adab dgn pljr2 prmpuan yg lain. By time brkwn sbb tukar soalan. Then by years, smpai sy fly ke luar negara, we still in contact. Before fly, he used to tell me every single stories. Mcm biasa lah, sy yg open tanya kalau dia nk share cerita, blh je. I used to impressed to him sbb dia bdk beragama, bdk baik, kalau tgk wall dia mmg penuh islamik. But i tend to tilt utk suka dia sbb dia xhbs2 cerita ttg kwn baik prmpuan3 dia. I get shock. Oh. By the way, dia pun dri sekolah agama single gender. Dkt sini, sy nk tekankan, jgn judge kami, mulia. Sy, brkwn, tp msh mnjaga batas. Xwhatsapp sebarangan. Sy xculture shock sbb sy daily berhubung dgn org ramai. Daily ke tusyen. Dia, bdk boarding school. So sy assume dia culture shock. Dia dpt universiti tempatan. But sadly, dlm islamik dia, dn dlm dia admit dia suka sy, dia playboy sbnrnya. Apa yg sy nk tekankn dkt sini dkt MUSLIMAH2, adik2 islamik dkt luar sana, be careful. Ya. Lame org akn ckp, xkhwin lagi, lepak la. Hak lelaki tu utk memilih. Just sy nk tekankan, kalau lelaki2 diluar sana, anda rasa anda diuji trjumpa dgn MUSLIMAH PURDAH / TAK YANG CANTIK dkt luar sana tu, jgn main2kn hati org. Selama sy jauh, sy selalu berdoa, selalu minta petunjuk smpailah slps 8tahun, sy susah sng dgb dia, kdg2 layan kerenah manja dia yg minta sy miss call dia dri jauh, berhabis ratusan USD kredit(admit ni mmg salah sy sbb trtipu dgn diri sndiri), then one day sy dpt tahu dri aktiviti fb dia. Dia like status seorg muslimah ni. Seminggu berturut2. To be honest, ya, sy mmg suka stalk dia. Sbb sy selalu ragu2 dgn dia actually. Pd mula sy brsngka baik until i add that girl. She approved. Mmg amat menyakitkn hati, bila lelaki bermulut manis. Sy sgt trkejut. Sbb sy tahu semua penipuan dia yg brtahun slps sy dgn dia brjaya pujuk mak dia utk benarkn kami khwin. Blh bygkn x, kita prcayakan seseorg tu brtahun2, kita susah-sng dgn dia brtahun2, so much things about them, we care. Gaduh, sometimes happen. Then kita dpt tahu segala2nya dri org luar. Ex dia. Yg plg hancur berkecai hati, i used to understand him as a student life. Tp dgn prmpuan MUSLIMAH WRITER TERKENAL tu, mcm2 dia berkorban. Hnya sbb baru brkenalan 3-4bulan. Awal2 dh ajak jumpa mak dia sblm bawa sy. Xjdi sbb prmpuan tu xde kerjaya masa depan yg stabil. (itu urusan dia). What makes me feel broken, bila dpt tahu sgla mcm pengorbanan jantan xguna tu dkt prmpuan tu. Sakit. Mmg sakit hati. Lelaki yg sy minat ni, gelap. Sgt gelap. Tp pandai. It is shocking bila dia sndiri mengaku brp bilangan keretapi (9org prmpuan) spnjg 8thun kami brkenalan. Dahsyat kn…and i used to surprise. Prmpuan muslimah yg dia plg byk berkorban ni pun used to bercinta 8x since SPM..labuh…tp dating…labuh…tp bercouple..sy yg xperfect ni pun msh ada akal brfikir utk cuba setia pd yg satu, tp ditipu..tp wall penuh dgn islamik2 words. Sorg xpe lagi. Kalau 8-9org, itu kita label as playboy dgn playgirl kn? Well. Msg2 msh bangga diri dgn "ilmu islamik" nya. Tp sy brsyukur. Even my sister yg xislamik pun blh differentiate which one to prioritize. Itu namanya penunggang agama. Smpai skrg sy xfhm dri sudut mana mrk kata mnjaga hablumminannas… Siap syarah sy lagi. Rasa org mcm ni jenis mcm mana. Hahaha. Speechless. No komen. Yes. Akhirnya kami xjdi nk berkhwin. Mmg jujur sgt sakit hati. Bila kita dh sygkn seseorg tu. Dri pristiwa dia hmpir di ragut, peristiwa dia brjya, dia gagal. Yelah. Manusia bila lupa diri, kslhn kecil org buatkn dia lupa sgla kebaikn seseorf tu. But until now, sy xblh terima ayat dia. "Mencari Allah" dgn mencari byk prmpuan. Huhuhuhu. First time seumur hidup sy jumpa lelaki yg bgi alasan mcm ni. Kan sng. Ckp. Sy xperfect. X islamik mcm yg dia nak. Sy bkn prmpuan simpanan. Well at least, now, i am different. Xsakit tu tipu. Tp brsyukur sbb Allah dh jauhkn dri lelaki yg xthu brsyukur mcm tu. Siapa sanggup dh nk, lps dh susah sng brsama, lps dh bntu byk, ingtkn ttg famili, minta nasihat ttg agama, rupa2nya all is drama. Fake. Sbb bila ikhlas dn jujur, xkn jdi mcm tu. Now i am coming back to mlysia. Thankfully to Allah sbb bgi petunjuk earlier.
#notakaki: u deserve to investigate every each even pious man that u want to marry. U deserve a good and kind husband like your own father. Bkn mcm lelaki2 pengecut. Lari dri mslh dn suka mnmbhkn beban. And even xconsiderate about your feeling. Minta jauh lagi. Choose a man wisely, and always be beauty :) outside and inside

– Fadhila

Hantar confession anda di sini -> iiumc.com/submit