manusia terus hidup dengan harapan
-manusia terus hidup dengan harapan-
It happened when i was a lil' kid ..being the closest grand daughter to arwah nenek(which i call mok) makes me feel responsible for her, eventhough i know that org lain boleh jaga mok ..she lost her total sight when i was 9 ..
I still remember , how she used to walk through the hallway toward the toilet by herself ..each time aadzan berkumandang , she will take ablution ,and cepat2 solat ..walaupun masa tu Allah dah tarik satu nikmat dalam hidup mok (which is her sight) , she kept on put her faith toward Allah ..
I can still remember , how she ate sireh ,lepastu ambik rokok daun ..and as a kid , i used to cuba untuk rasa all those traditional "foods" hahaha ..u know , that naughty feeling of knowing nobody will see you're trying to hisap rokok daun , makan sireh , and all that stuff ..i keep smiling when i remember all those memories ..
She has a habit , which is setiap pagi lepas subuh , around 7++ , she will asked for tea'o panas with roti kosong ..and after that , rokok daun will take turn ..when i was 11 , she started quit smoking and makan sireh tu semua , sebab her health is not in a good condition ..but she's still being positive , anggap tu semua dugaan , mok once said to me "ni Allah baru tarik sikit nikmat Dia ..kita kena sentiasa bersyukur ..kalau Allah tarik semua nikmat Dia , masa tu takkan baru nak reti bersyukur"
I can still remember , each night before going to bed , she will ask me hows my school , hows food , hows my friend and i doing ..and here goes the bedtime story — my bedtime story is full with her past stories , which makes me wonder , how can hopes actually trigger one's passion ..
I can still remember , i cant sleep without hugging a pillow , and she is my pillow since i was 10 till 13 .. Dulu2 kan femes dgn akademi fantasia ..i used to stay up smpai tgh malam tgk benda alah tu ..tiap kali mok xboleh tido awal , she will keep calling my name sampai la i give up with the show , and teman mok borak2 ..that is the only entertainment that she got masa tu — people spending their time with her ..
She lost her sight , but yet , she believe that hopes are still there ..she wont go to any hospital , since she is an anti-hospital type (sebijik macam ayah and me hehe) ..she worth massive respect ..as far as i remember , she never skipped her solah , not even once ..
Allah ..kita sekarang , lengah2 solat tu benda biasa ..kadang2 , setengah jam nak masuk asar baru solat zohor ..padahal Allah bagi kita semua nikmat , tapi manusia terus angkuh dengan nikmat nikmat tu sendiri ..kalau lah kita ditempat mok , i dont think i can handle it as how mok handle everything ..xpernah sekali mok merungut pasal her sight ..xpernah sekali mak persoal kenapa dia ..tapi mok keep on saying "alhamdulillah"
I can still remember , i was around 12 ..masa tu lepas subuh , bgn nak siap2 pegi sekolah ..and mok suddenly calling me with an alien language ..dengan mamai2 , i asked her apa jadi ni ..and i realized that mulut mok dah lain macam ..i shouted for ummi ..i was lost at the moment ..ummi dtg , wthout asking much , ummi take a needle and pricked it dkat semua hujung jari tgn mok ..mok kena stroke ..she was warded for a few days ..
And u know what , manusia terus hidup dengan harapan — 1 month after that , she recovered 90% out of 100% ..alhamdulillah , she can walk by herself , and she dont stutter as how she was a month ago ..sepanjang recovering process , mok still doing her obligation as a muslim ..tak pernah merungut tak pernah deny apa yang jadi ..sebab after all , semua tu rezeki yang Allah bagi ..bentuk rezeki tu je yang lain2 ..
And i still remember ,i was 13 and its 14 of april 2006 , masa bangun tidur tu rasa pelik kenapa mok x banyak tanya ..masa tu sekolah sesi petang , so basically the school bus driver will pick me up on12.30 pm ..masa tu almost 11.00 am ,and im still hanging out dkat kedai ummi ..a cousin of mine dtg bgtau yg mok looks different than usual ..
Sampai rumah , ayah , uncles ,cousins semua dah kumpul around mok ..mok diam wthout saying anything ..mata mok je yg berkelip masa tu ..everyone keeps talking to her , tapi xde respon ..masa tu semua org mcm dah get ready utk sbrg kemungkinan ..dan tepat jam 11.31pm , mok pergi untuk selamanya ..senang sangat mok Pergi masa tu ..kalau cakap mok tido pun org percaya ..muka mok masa tu ,masyaAllah ,tak tergambar dek kata kata ..mok pergi bukan sehari dua , tapi untuk selama lamanya ..
Dah takde bantal peluk nak peluk tiap malam , dah takde sesiapa nak cerita kisah hidup dulu2 masa zaman perang , dah takde sape2 nak panggil nama malam2 , dah takde org untuk dimandikan setiap pagi , dah takde org nak tanya apa2 yang jadi , dah takde insan bergelar nenek untuk selama lamanya ..dan semalam , mok datang dalam mimpi , hanya senyuman menjadi hiasan bersama persalinan putih ..mok rindu yah ea ? Yah rindu mok ..
Dan manusia terus hidup dengan harapan — harapan agar satu hari kelak , dekat sana , kita jumpa dalam syurga Allah ..in shaa Allah ..
Al-fatihah untuk Yah bt Jenal ..
– NH