Pedophile rape bersekedudukan unmarried

Woman. 28. Unmarried. Engineer with total income 6 to 7 k per month. Living in an city,studio apartment. Far from family. Also living with a man dkat setahun 8bulan tanpa bernikah. Bila aku baca page ni sbny masalah sosial kt malaysia ni teruk cuma tidak disuarakan and girls pendam. Same to me. Masa tadika kakak aku sdiri main doktor2 dgn aku dlm bilik like experimenting my private part both in front and the back. Every weekend. Just dont realize when it stopped. She masturbate kan aku (ms tu tadika xtau wat masturbation). Ms tu egt main dokter2 n i bet kakak ak pun xtau pe yg die sdg buat kt aku. Just dat, mana die bljar or rs teringin buat cmtu. Worst part, ak buat kt adik aku pulak.aku suh die baring n aku pgg private part die sama mcm kakak ak buat. Once only. N i regret it my whole lifetime. Sbb ak pn xtau pe yg aku buat tu. But from dat, aku addicted to masturbation since age 6. Imagining things a child shud not imagine. All this, parents xtau.
Sehingga umur aku 22 i only have one bf. Mmg xpnh sentuh mnyentuh. Sgt menjaga. Time tu masih bodo xtau ttg sex. Sbb hidup ms tu for fun things n study sj and have lovely famly. Then he leaves me for another woman. After dat knal dgn lelaki yg kwn kenalkn. Umur dia 25. From him he force me to do this n dat n i learn it was a phone sex. I leave him immediately n we never met. Knal another guy. Everyday hntr gmbr n video lucah. We never met also. Im doing my degree dat time. But he open my world to sex world. Kesucian hati n fikiran aku da tercemar dgn maksiat.Grad with dean list on 24 n get permanent job. In my 25, was raped by my trusted cousin. He offers help n attention after dad died, but in return he rape n crushing my world. After 25years perthnkn.With this own feet i still stand up how hard it is. Balik kg kne tgk muka dia kot smpi slh sorg mati. From dat i even enter to dark world. From 25 to 27. Trying to find 'good man' that can guide me but end up got played by husband org n org bujang yg just nk sex shj, most men like dat. Mula2 je mcm baik n dgr mslh kita pay attention to us care us. One night stand is common to me.I dont want any commitment n relationship as i dont trust them. Yet dont feel any guilty. Living with my mix bf in my own apartment or sometime his apartment. 35y/old operation manager, very professional n kind to me. Sex is not his motive. But more on taking care of me. Never been so long in this kind of relationship. He proposed me for third time on february this year but still i rejected. I dont trust any man. N i dont like the idea of marriage nor divorcee. Klu husbnd org pun bole menggatal dgn pmpuan lain. Solat? Jarang. Bkn xtau dosa tp xnk buat. Puasa? Aku puasa, xberani tinggal. Quran? Aku bole baca tp aku xnk. Rukun iman islam? Xhafal tp tau. Blaming GOd for wat had happen? I dont know. Skrg aku xtau tujuan idup aku apa. Its already crushed from the beginning. Whats more to live?

– No name

Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit

137 Comments

    • BTW saya salute dgn keberanian awk utk confess disini. Mgkn Allah beri hidayah(petunjuk) di bln ramadhan ni. Menunjukkan yg awk nak berubah sbb awk tahu apa yg awk lalui tu salah, tp mgkn awk tak tahu cara. Sorry kalau my assumption salah. Salute dgn tindakan u utk confess tak bererti I setuju dgn salah yg awk buat.

      Apa pun, keep praying sbb Allah maha pengampun. Masa ada ruang taubat sebelum tertututp. May Allah guide us insya Allah :D

  3. Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): “Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan-perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa; sesungguhnya Dia lah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.”Dan kembalilah kamu kepada Tuhan kamu dengan bertaubat, serta berserah bulat-bulat kepadaNya, sebelum kamu didatangi azab; kerana sesudah itu kamu tidak akan diberikan pertolongan.”Dan turutlah – Al-Quran – sebaik-baik. (panduan hidup) yang diturunkan kepada kamu dari Tuhan kamu, sebelum kamu didatangi azab secara mengejut, sedang kamu tidak menyedarinya.
    (Az-Zumar 39:53-55)

    • Dari Anas ra. Ia berkata, aku mendengar Rasulullah saw. Bersabda :

      Allah berfirman, ” wahai anak Adam! Sesungguhnya engkau selama berdoa dan berharap kepadaKu, maka Aku pasti akan memberikan ampunan kepadamu atas segala dosa-dosamu dan Aku tidak akan peduli. Wahai anak Adam! Andaikata dosa- dosamu sampai ke langit kemudian engkau memohon ampunan kepadaKu, maka pasti Aku akan memberikan ampunan kepadamu. Wahai anak Adam! Jika engkau datang kepadaKu dengan membawa kesalahan sepenuh bumi, kemudian engkau bertemu denganKu, tapi engkau tidak menyekutukanKu sedikitpun, maka pasti Aku akan datang kepadamu dengan membawa ampunan sepenuh bumi.”

      (Hadis riwayat at-Tirmizi. Ia berkata,” hadits ini hasan”)

    • ‘Mereka menjawab, ” kami menyampaikan khabar gembira kepadamu dengan benar, maka janganlah kamu termasuk orang-orang yang berputus asa”. Ibrahim berkata, “tidak ada orang yang berputus asa dari rahmat Tuhannya, kecuali orang-orang yang sesat”.’ (Al-Hijr ayat 55-56)

  7. Solat . inshaAllah kita jaga solat Allah jaga dan ubah segalanya. belum trlambat , Allah sntiasa tggu hamba2 kembali kpdNya . inshaAllah Moga sis diberi kekuatan dan dijaga Tuhan. (utk dr sndri jgk) =)

  8. Whats more to live?how bout thinking what will happen to u in afterlife?
    Awak faham dosa which mean awak ada lagi agama dalam diri.awak faham situasi awak sendiri but awak taknak ubah.im sorry but thats what im getting from u.so choose,nak berubah ke tak.

    • Soalan die tu bukan perlu jawapan….itu adalah statement orang yg masih trauma for long memories….
      kereta yg rosak selepas eksiden kalau dibiar jadi ape??biar saye bg contoh…penah tgok filem herbie??sebuah kereta lumba yg hebat gara2 exiden terus kt kedai besi buruk…tp diselamatkan oleh “manusia” n perbaiki die sampai elok balik…..

    • Question yourself whether your words are kind enough for someone who is traumatized. You may live a happily normal life. She doesn’t.

    • It is kind enough imo.i did not label her with anything and i even apologise beforehand if im wrong.which part of my statement did u feel rude?

    • “I’m sorry but that’s what I’m getting from you”. This statement exactly. Of course that’s the only way you’ll ever be able to think. Cause you have never experienced what the confessor has experienced. It’s better for you to watch and move on if your two cents is going to be so judgmental. Yang akak confessor ni nak orang bagi semangat cara baik. Bukan kasi semangat cara perli. She knows what she did wrong. She has already said that. Us as bystanders, give her encouragements like how sis Solehah Jamal did, not rubbing more salt to her wounds.

    • I said that because i did not get the impression she wants to change or trying to change and maybe im wrong in thinking so thus is why i said ‘im sorry’.and that is also why i said she needs to choose to change herself or not because she knows what is happening in her life and she knows its wrong.never in my intention to judge or belittling her.

    • Yes agree with Myoesi Mcuks skrg awak dgn confession sama tara…, ape perasan awak bila salah tulis soalan/statement tp dpersoal oleh orang lain yg rase ayat mcm tu xsesuai dgn menyindir… saye paham awak menpunyai pemikiran..n kite semua mcm tu….ada pendapt masing2…,cumeee bile nk bg pendpt niat tu mcm mane..,membantu ke x? Just put urself on her shoe…before do somethin, k….dh confession page mcm ni bagus untk seseorg yg dh lame terpendam cume xde tempat untuk meluahkan…sebb mereka selalu brjumpe penkritik dri pendengar..

    • Saye rasa ok ja sebab saye tak buat benda salah pun.nak terasa buat apa.saye terus reply sebab ada orang salah anggap apa saye tules.saye ulang lagi,saye takde niat langsung kritik,hina or merendahkan confessor.saye just jawab soalan dia.but somehow orang anggap otherwise pulak.

    • Tidaklah Allah mngubah nasib ssuatu kaum itu mlainkan mreka mngubah diri mreka sdiri-dlm Al quran Allah bgtau awal2….so..choose..Tuhan sdiri bgtau..nk brubah,decide..xnk brubah,truskn confess n cri alasan..lntakla ad mlut2 n akal2 pndek yg nk komen “you xdduk dlm situasi dia mne la you tau”..dlm hal ni,dia(confessor) tau ap yg dia buat n sdar apa yg brlaku cuma xde tindakan pn n post confess kt sni..wht for?utk kne condemn ke ape?

  9. Amik langkah pertama,bergaul dgn kwn yg baik, office colleagues,siblings etc. Kedua,move out,jgn bsekedudukan lagi. Then,cari hobby yg bermanfaat. Aku rase,you feel lonely, as if you re on your own. tapi you’re only 28. Muda lagi. Bertaubat dan berubah sikit2. InsyAllah ko ditemukan dgn jodoh yang baik.

  13. Sungguh tragis hidup wanita ni…kalau takut nak campur ngn orang or bersangka buruk ke…better gi dengar ceramah atau solat kat masjid ke..wallahualam…

  14. So, u bangga la dengan kehidupan u skang..the way that u talks doesn’t even reflect that u are regretting the sins that you had done. So, disebabkan cousin u musnahkan masa depan kau, kau jadikan itu satu justifikasi untuk kau bergelumang dalam dosa. Aku tak reti nak nasihatkan kau. But you should seek for professional help. Hidup tak selamanya muda sis. Kita akan tua, sakit dan mati n bf yang professional tu pun sama juga nanti. At last, kalau dia move on from ur life.. what’s ur backup plan?. Are u gonna stay in that kind of life dan keep destroying urself. Think about the future. The past is past. Sakit tetap sakit..tapi tak guna nak seksa diri living dalam kehidupan macam tu. Jangan live dalam denial state. U deserve better life. About your cousin…kalau banyak sangat kenangan pahit sampai menyampah dengan dia..just tak payah balik kampung..elakkan jumpa dia at dengan cara apa sekalipun. Sebab jumpa dia, will akan mengingatkan kehidupan kita yang dimusnahkan dia. Life is too precious to waste it like that dear. If you need space, go for travel and take ur time out. Allah maha pengampun terhadap hamba-hambanya yang hendak kembali ke pangkal jalan…

  15. Bila awk luah disini..ni bmksud awk ingin berubah tpi xtaw cmna n prlukan sokongan utk kuar dri smua tu..konflik dlm diri awk xselesai lg..hanya diri kita y mampu ubah diri kita..y penting cri Allah dlu..Dia tahu sapa awk n thu cmna nk tlg awk…sy doakan awk..

  16. Confessor bercerita di sini, ramai yg judge confessor, ataupun org2yg comment ni bagi nasihat yg tak berapa nak masuk dalam hati.

    Sebab orang2 yg duk comment ni tak pernah melalui hidup mcm confessor.

    Sebenarnya confessor tahu apa yg confessor perlu buat. Cuma confessor perlu take time utk menerima apa yg dah jadi. Confessor sebenarnya sangat frust, tapi tak reti nak keluar drpd perasaan frust tu.

    Give yourself some time dear. Cuma kite harap, usah la lama sangat.

    Do the right thing.

    I suggest confessor boleh start dgn istighfar dulu. Tak ikhlas pun takpe. Just buat dulu. In sya Allah you will feel better.

  23. trauma. confessor perlukan guider y betul. bukan judge.
    -pergilah masjid. dengarlah azan. tenangkan hati dgn mndengar org baca al-quran. setiap masalah ade penyelesaian. cubalah cik confessor. awak psti xmahu hidup mcm paralize kan. awak mahu buat tp awak tak mahu buat. awak mahu tinggalkan tp awak tak mahu tinggalkan. awak takut tapi awak tak takut. pergilah buka Quran sekali shj.

  24. To confessor.
    If you need someone to help you. To share your story. U can direct message me. I would like to share mine.

    Tahu tak Allah swt syg awak. Walaupun awak dah jauh. Tp awak still ade hati nak berubah. I knew u do. Please contact me.

  25. Moga Allah ketuk pintu hati sis utk kembali ke pangkal jalan.everyone makes mistakes.xpe,pelan2 kayuh ok.bayangkan org2 yg dlm kubur tu nk sgt idup smula semata2 utk beribadat.sis yg masih bernyawa pasti boleh mengubah masa depan.chaiyokkkkk!!!

  26. My dear sister, you need to give your life second chance. Everyone deserve second chance. Wahailah kakakku sayang, its doesnt matter how bad your past, yang penting present. Waktu sekarang ni yang akan mencorak masa depan akak. If you want to say that you dont have any brighter future — You still bernafas pada esok hari, tak pernah ke awak rasa ” Sampai bila aku nak macam ni ? “. Sister my dear sister, what ever will be will be, the future not ours to see Que sera sera ~

    Okay stop nyanyi, huhu Kak, bila akak rasa akak berada di bottom of your life, Allah tak pernah tinggalkan akak. Bangunlah kak, bangkit dari kekecewaan hidup, mulakan perubahan tinggalkan yang tak baik tu semua, Allah ada, Allah nampak usaha akak. Allah nak akak pulang.

    Dont give up kak. Kite ada lagi satu kehidupan setelah didunia ni nanti. Biarlah ranap disini asalkan bahagia menanti. This is not the end kak. Bangunla kak.

    Ada pelangi cantik menanti akak selepas hujan bah melanda ni. Terus kuat terus sabar, jangan putus asa jangan putus harap. Yakin dengan janji Allah.

    Akk taknak kawin takpe kak, tapi tinggalkan lah gaya hidup yang tak seberapa tu huhu. Saya sayang akak, moga Hifizillah selalu

  29. Jarang solat is still better than x pernah solat. Still puasa. Still tau cara baca al-Quran. All of these means that you still have Iman. Alhamdulillah. Allah love you.
    And you don’t know whether you’re blaming Him or not? Why. Sbb x selamatkan ko dr semua ni? Have you ever asked from Him?
    Semua laki yg pedajal kat ko tu laki2 yg digoda setan. They ruined you but now you want to ruin yourself by being like this?
    Idk why but I got teary eyes when reading your confess, maybe because it’s not a good ending. Seeing ppl who got hurt not been cured is unbearable to me. Pls sister, it’s not the end of the world. It’s ok kalau xnak kawen or whatsoever. But jgn hidup bergelumang dgn dosa free je. All I can do is only pray from afar. May allah bless you ameennnnn

  33. Kalau kita x boleh MEMBANTU…janganlah MEMBANTUT kan dia
    Jika kita x mmpu menasihat jgn mnghentam…ujian utk dia IKTIBAR utk kita
    Jika kita d uji 1 hari nnti..belum tentu kita sekuat dia…sama2 istighfar..doakan yg baik2…itu lebih terpuji…doakan utk dia..doakan juga utk diri & zuriat keturunan kita..mama Adam Luqman

  34. Hmmm…how to tell you…before this I was always on the sideline. Looking at friends who have case like you. Even someone who is close to me. You can contact me if you want. I also have my own story to tell. We just chat. If you don’t want, just leave me your full name. I’ll make dua’ for you. Even if you don’t want to respond, find Allah. How? Start with zikir.

  35. Confessor try g jalan2 kt mekah. Tepulang pd confessor nk jlnkn ibadah umrah ke apa. Tp cuba cari ketenangan di sana. Ambil la cuti sebulan ke. Duk sana. Dont expect anything. Just go there. Smoga sis beroleh ketenangan. Semoga sis bertemu kebahagiaan d sana. Amin

  38. Adik…..
    Ujian untuk kita dtg dlm bentuk berbeza….
    Hidayah Allah ada cepat ada lambat…..tapi akan tetap ada
    Boleh PM akak….insya Allah kita akan dpt cari jalan bersama

  41. Dik, persoalan awak whats more to live, awak hanya akan jumpa jawapan tu dengan Allah. Berbuih mulut macam mana pun orang sekeliling guide n advice u, kalau u taknak ‘jumpa’ Allah, u takkan dapat jawapan tu. Hati kita ni Allah yg pegang. Tujuan hidup kita ni sepatutnya berpaksikan panduan Dia. Biarlah org lain salah dan palitkan pada kita pun, yg penting kita dengan Allah sentiasa dekat. U hate ur past. But to move on, u have to give urself a chance. Belajar memaafkan diri sendiri. Belajar memberi peluang pada diri sendiri. Even 10peluang pun, beri peluang utk diri sendiri utk bertaubat n start over. Semua org ada dosa masing2. Yg penting u move on for good, belajar memaafkan diri sendiri n melangkah menghampiri Dia. Selagi awak tak beri diri awak peluang utk rapat pada Dia, selagi itulah awak akan taktau apa tujuan hidup. Ingat, SEMUA DARI ALLAH ITU ADALAH BAIK. U have to choose n listen to Him.

  42. Rasanya cik no name bukanlah bangga dengan kehidupan dia sekarang. Tapi lebih kepada tak tau apa arag tuju hidup dia. Dan sepatutnya, beri komen yang membina/bantu cara untuk cik no name kembali ke jalan yang diredhai Allah insyaAllah.

    Firstly, cik no name..awak bertuah sebenarnya. Sebab apa saya cakap awak bertuah? Sebab awak still solat (jarang2), still puasa penuh, still tau ngaji al-Quran. Banyak jugak nie still-stil

    Hidup di dunia ini adalah exam, akhirat adalah resultnya. Ujian yang Allah beri pada seluruh makhluk di dunia ni berbeza.. Cuma, manusia tu sendiri mencari solusinya. Macam mana nak tangani setiap ujian yang Allah bagi..

    Jadi, cara pertamanya..cik no name jangan tinggal solat ya biasalah nak mula buat memang liat n kerap tertinggal. Kalau ‘tertinggal’ tu cpt2 qado semula solat tersebut..janji dengan diri jangan tinggal solat.

    Keduanya, sis no name perlu dengar kata-kata/ceramah yang membakar semangat nak berubah nak cari hala tuju sebagai khalifah di muka bumi Allah ini. Ini link prof muhaya https://youtu.be/llc51-0quuQ cuba lah klik, ambik earfon letak di telinga sambil baca bismillah, niat supaya Allah bukakan hati kak no name terima segala nasihat. Banyak lagi ceramah prof yang best2 dalam slot islam itu indah kat ikim tu

    Ketiganya, bacalah al-Quran semula..sebab disitulah ketenangan jiwa. Kalau malas sangat nak baca bukak youtube dengar bacaan Sheikh Maher Al-Muaiqly. Sedap suara dia..sahduuuu ja. Meresap ke jiwa insyaAllah..

    Ok, tu saja selamat menyambut ramadhan dengan penuh keberkatan.. Aamiin.

  43. Rasulullah , semakin banyak Baginda ada masalah , semakin banyak Baginda akan solat. Kunci di sini adalah Solat. Kerana melalui solat dan sujudlah si hamba dekat dengan Tuhannya.

    Sis buat solat , qiammulai , solat taubat , bercampur dengan orang alim. InshaAllah semoga sis tenang. Allah rindukan sis , dan saya yakin sis pun pasti rindukan Allah.

  44. Dear sister, I believe, everyone has their own story. The bad days in our lives. Semuanya akan berlalu… Only Allah will stay. Semua org pernah ter salah, and pernah sengaja salah. So am I… And the feeling will never end. But, life must go on… As we have another life in hereafter… Takdir.. ITU rahsia Allah..

  46. Awak, awk berhak untuk bahagia juga..
    jgn hukum orang lain kerana kesalahan orang yang lain..
    ya memang ada manusia yg jahat, tp juga masih ada yang baik…
    mereka bukan org yg sama… setiap individu itu berbeza
    .
    Semoga bila lelaki tu propose awk lagi, Allah akan buka pintu hati awak untuk terima. Dan semoga lelaki tu akan jadi lelaki yang terbaik, yang akan melindungi menjaga awak sentiasa. Tiada apa yang kebetulan di dunia ini, mungkin dia dihantar Tuhan untuk membahagiakan awk. Apa yang bermula dengan dosa, tidak semestinya akan berakhir dalam dosa. Allah kan Maha Penyayang & Maha pengampun.
    .
    Awak, segelap mana pun masa silam awak, tidak bermakna awak ni hina dan tidak layak untuk sesiapa.Kadang2 dari kegelapanlah kita belajar menghargai cahaya. Biarlah masa silam di tinggal di belakang.
    .
    Awak, sayangi diri awak, hidup baik2. Raih bahagia dengan berani, awak juga berhak untuk bahagia.

  48. Salam. Hi, I really wish you can read my comment. I made an account just to reply to this confession.
    I was in the same state as you are, so I can relate to them than most of those commenting, or judging, without putting themselves in your shoes. The molestation, the rape, the innocence and purity you have been trying to protect. I know them all. I know how it feels, wanting to change, but don’t have a clue on where to start, what to do, everything is so damaged, hardly can savage any part left. But trust me, you can do this. From my point of view, you are already halfway, on the right track. You accept yourself for what had happened, thats a kickstart. “Acceptance”. You realize what went wrong. “A problem is only a problem, if you know its source. And if its a problem, there must be a solution”. I hold on to this principle. I will not give you the religious talk and all, people who gave me that, make me feel like they do know how to make people feel like crap. Its okay to take it slow, its an intricate thing, fixing yourself. Start bit by bit, if you feel like its hard for you to pray, try zikr. “Subhanallah” . Start by just that, insyaAllah. Everything will pass, everything will be okay, all you have to do is to keep living. Be kind to others. One day, everything will fall into its place. I found my path. and its clearer than ever, when you start to learn, to accept things, eventually you will want to try to be better. And when that happens, then you realize, you are not alone. Nobody else can do this but you, only you. Only you can make a change. Just remember, I know you may blame God for this, its okay, blame Him all you want. But remember, He never left you. He loves you. The thoughts that you know you disobeyed Him, is His reminder for you, to let you remember, He is always there for you. He just want you to remember, and reach out for him. I will pray for you, because I want you to be happy too. Like I do now. Be strong okay? I may not know you, but my prayers will always be with you. Just be strong, and hold on. Take care :)

  49. Keep on fighting sis.

    Yang berlaku telah berlalu walau pahitnya masih terasa. It is not easy to just wake up and pretends everything had been left behind. The scars will always be there.

    Take it step by step. Most of us, we are fighting with our ownself as in search for a “better” and “normal” life as we have been taught of.

    As I used to mention before, each of us ditakdirkan dengan jalan hidup berbeza. Everything in your life seemed to be perfect. Except for this one thing. N this one thing, is indeed too dark for a young lady to handle by her own. Kudos, you are a strong woman to be able to stand up strong until today.

    People can judge you, and will always do. Not everyone will understand and has the opportunity to go through apa yang telah awak lalui. Why I sebut ia sebagai opportunity…ia bukan perkara yang mengembirakan. But this is one thing in your life yg telah buat you akan mencari erti kehidupan yang sebenar.

    Mungkin sekarang you berasa you mcm dah lost. Darkness surrounded you even when your real life is blessed with other good things, like good career and good grades in exam. You hargai semua tu, but you dont feel alive. You feel lost.

    Senang utk dinasihatkan, kembali kepada jalan yang benar, bertaubatlah and so on. But I wont say that. But believe in yourself. You will come out of this darkness one day. Take it step by step…in the meanwhile, trust in God. You memang dah ada keyakinan tu deep down inside you, but all these life challenges had somehow buat you rasa kecewa.

    Orang blh nasihatkan kita, guide kita…tetapi hanya kita mampu cari jalan kebahagiaan kita. I x perlu suggest any advice, as I believe in you, and I believe you will able to overcome this with time. My prayers are with you.

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