Pride.
Assalamualaikum, so I was actually terfikir this one thing. Apakah redha itu tanda kita kalah in some particular thing? Some people might as well fikir, "lemahnya dia ni" tapi kita taktahu apa yang dilalui oleh orang tersebut.
Jadi, di sini, I would like to remind or you know, just stating here the fact is that redha, tawakal bukan bermaksud kita kalah tapi kita tahu ada yang LAGI BAIK, LAGI BEST, LAGI AWESOME sedang menunggu. Frankly speaking, from my own experience,last few months ago I'm in this situation when I kena dumped by my ex-boyfriend and his whole family just because there is this one girl, who I assume, way better than me that he just left after almost 4 years we've been in relationship and OH in another note that tak sampai beberapa bulan pun kami putus, mereka bertunang. I didn't speak up about it that much but as I've been silently moving on, ada lah cerita cerita yang tak best. Cakap cakap yang I'm the one who's at fault where I did nothing at all because I'm doing fine, I tak meroyan dekat social media etc etc and yet, people are assuming.
Saya redhakan semua tapi untuk memaafkan mungkin tidak atau mungkin satu hari nanti, I will. Bila saya meredhakan, ada sesetengah pihak called me, a loser. "Why didn't you fight for it?" "You didn't love him sebenarnya kan?" "Kenapa kau tak balas dendam dengan perempuan ni?" dan macam macam lah.
Kenapa saya tak fight? Basically I have this kind of prinsip di mana I don't do the chasing or maybe I didn't know how. I thought segala effort, masa, and money yang saya spent selama 4 tahun ni, itu lah 'fight' saya untuk pertahankan relationship ni but I think it wasn't good enough for him. Mungkin perempuan tu bagi lebih baik dari saya bagi. So.. am I a loser?
If you even assume I don't love him just because I'm doing fine when he left, you're totally wrong. I still have a pride you see. If I don't love him, why would I spent these years with him? Tak ada kerja ke. As an answer, I've always remind myself, if it's not meant to be, it will not be. Saya bersyukur sebab ia jadi sebelum kami kahwin. What if it's happen after we got married? Bahagia ke saya nanti? Allah dah tunjuk siap siap, kenapa saya nak bersedih sedih teruk, nak marah marah. Tak sedih tu tipu lah tapi ada lah limit dia, kenapa saya nak show off?
Kenapa saya tak balas dendam? Hmm basically, why should I wasting my time over this thing. Mungkin itu jodoh dia. Biarlah orang kata saya ni lembik sebab tu senang dia merampas ke apa ke. Nak buat cemana, dia tak ada this kind of 'empathy' terhadap kaum dia sendiri. As for me, "you nak amik, amik lah". Real man can't be stolen. That's all.
Somehow perkara macam ni boleh runtuhkan keyakinan seseorang, jadi, don't label someone as a weak person or even a loser. Tak membantu langsung. He/she might struggling. By appearance dia nampak kuat tapi dalam hati dia, setiap malam dia, agak agaknya macam mana lah ya? Can you tell?
Just, don't. Okay?
– Ai