Redha je lah..

Isunya pilih kasih la tu.. exactly sama dgn my experience. Memang my mom terus terang she loves my younger sister more. Saya ada sorang adik perempuan je. I' the eldest. Mak n ayah saya bercerai sejak saya berumur 6 tahun. I'm 41, ex student uia jugak, married with 3 kids. Yg bsr dh sekolah menengah. Sampai sekarang pun masih cerita yg sama jugak. When i was younger, especially masa sekolah menengah n masa kt uia, saya slalu muhasabah diri & menilai utk memahami kenapa mak saya macam tu.. I talked about it to my close friends, family members & even the counselor. Susah nak diterima & dipercayai, tapi memang banyak kemungkinan potential yg boleh jadi punca tabiat pilih kasih. But whatever it is, only my mom & Allah sajalah yg tahu. I just let it be.. i would't be sure at all. I knew, I always know & will always be knowing that only Allah can change her. The only one thing i know for sure, kalau kita bukan anak kesayangan, memang kebaikan kita kurang nak nampak, dinilai & dihargai berbanding anak yg lebih disayangi. Itulah yg sering jadi punca perasaan tak puas hati & even pertengkaran. Rasa tak diambil berat & tak dihargai. Normal la tu…. so, saya pun melalui saat2 yg sukar n berkonflik tu. Rasa berdosa, tak adequate, not good enough, blaming myself, feeling bad n guilty, low self esteem & bermasalah in some interpersonal relationship with others. Sebab kalau dah ibu saya sendiri layan saya macam tu, how so pulak orang lain? Seolah2 kepercayaan saya terhadap orang lain tu agak kurang. Anyway, bila saya dah berumahtangga & berdikari, i choose to take charge of my own life. Obviously, i turned to be a very independent, strongly decisive, determined, free spirited & full of will. With my experience, I help a lot of teenagers with the same probIem. decided that nothing my mom did & will be doing could hurt me anymore.. No more dramas.. I just won't take that anymore. I live my life the best possible way I know how. I take care of my children's need nothing like my mom did to us. I try as best as i can to avoid pilih kasih dalam kalangan anak2. Saya galakkan my children utk express their feelings & berterus terang. Then I proved to my mom what i'm capable of. I have a better life than my younger sister in a lot of ways. But she's still that same old person. My beloved mom. That's just the way she is. I don't bother. Sometimes i talked to a friend about how bad she made me feel & the rage just came out.. But deep inside my heart, I love her & I still hope that she can love me back the way i love her.. just hoping & praying.. The least I can do. So, here's my opinion. First, terimalah ibu bapa kita seadanya & redhalah seikhlas hati.. Jgn berhenti berdoa kpd Allah agar hubungan keluarga menjadi lebih baik, berkat & bermakna. Second, ikhlaskan lah hati kita dlm menjalankn tanggungjawab sebagai anak. Buat & berilah hak mereka Third, normal lah bila konflik or pertengkaran terjadi, but try to minimize or avoid it. Fourth, cari masa yg baik n sesuai utk bagitau mereka yg sekali sekala kita terasa bila dilayan sebagai anak bukan kesayangan. Maybe secara bergurau. Biar mereka sedar & berfikir.. Finally, jangan simpan dendam & serahkan saja kepada Allah setelah kita melakukan & memberikan yg terbaik kepada mereka tanpa mengharap apa2 balasan mahupun pujian.. Tak pe lah.. Mak ayah kita.. kita yg berdosa bukannya mereka. Tak kiralah apa yg berlaku. if u can do that, u r really awesome.. Wallahualam…

– Numb

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