serba salah nak share. tp aku nak luah je. im expected to deliver my baby on next 2weeks which means during raya. and tbh, im worried about my confinement period.. at 1st, i’ve decided to just stay at home and enjoy the confinement time by my own, and i do trust my husband to take care of me during that period. besides, my mil stays not really far from my house.. so she can come by, and look after me when she has time (she’s working, that’s why i dont wanna trouble her).
okay. as a firstimer, i admit that i have to be prepared with lots of knowledge (petua pantang larang) and so on, so my decision earlier was objected my mil, and also my aunt. since i dont have parent anymore, my aunt insists to take care of me. the thing is, i dont feel comfortable staying at her house. she has two sons, (wht even worse, one of them had done sexual harrasment to me when we were child -but i’ve forgiven him, but still i dont wanna live under the same roof with sexual abuser of course- PLUS i really observe my aurah in front of non mahrams, the house itself isnt as big as mine, i’ll be having no privacy there cause not enough room, my aunt practicing some shirik thinggy-nauzubillah min zalik-, her naughty grandchildren stay there too, cats are everywhere, not really clean environment, and for sure she’ll have her guests during hari raya which discomforts me like hell. these are among the reasons why i feel so reluctant to stay at her house. but, she’s so excited and has prepared almost everything for my confinement.
she cant live with us in our house, she has grandchildren stay with her, n have to cook for her family. i cannot force her to stay with me, im not that selfish, but i have no choice other than staying at my one and only aunt that i have in this world.
my husband do aware about my discomfortness and he also feel the same way. but we have no choice but to “jaga hati orang tua”. my mil once said to him that she can take a long leave to look after me, but only after raya. means, by hook or by crook i have to stay with my aunt 1st, and then with my mil.
this actually makes me sad, frustrated, and distracted. i cannot imagine how my confinement period will be, i only can pray that Allah protects me and my baby..
my friends advised me that, confinement is crucial. and you gotta be at the most comfortable place, emotionally and physically stable, and the most important thing is, be happy during that time. but i dont think i can be happy. or is it just me being so negative towards my aunt? i know she wants to help, she loves me, she plays the role of mother, but the situation makes me so stressful. like i mentioned above, the house, the privacy, the non mahram.
if only i still have my mom now T.T
– dilemma
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Bincang dan berterus terang.
My mum stayed alone soon after delivering me via caesarean 22 years ago . Duduk rumah flat ,my dad datang time lunch hour je . Luckily my dad is very understanding man ,dia memang tolong sediakan semua to make my mum comfortable .Please decline the offer from your auntie . Cakap elok2 . Kalau you beranak normal inshaaAllah ,takde masalah .
1st time mum mmg akn byk msalah dri segi mental n fizikal.trust me,if awak selese sndri,then teruskan.jgn nk jge hati org,dri sndri sakit.kite byk nk pk mse pantang nnt.
Dok rumah sendiri.. Hired helper utk dtg tolong time siang.. Bulu kucing bahaya utk baby.. Dan aurat sgt senang terdedah time tu.. X pyh la ambl risiko
sister, sorry to say, masa pantang don’t waste time dgn “nak jaga hati org tua” in term of nak pantang di mana. pantang ialah “masa menjaga dan merehatkan DIRI SENDIRI”. sister pun mention ini kali pertama, saya nasihatkan jgn salah langkah.masa pantang memang crucial. anak akan nak menyusu tidak kira masa. kamu tak akan mahu buang masa nak observe aurah in front of bukan mahram sbb kamu ada pilihan dari awal utk tidak sebumbung dgn bukan mahram pada peringkat awal.kamu akan mengalami mood yg turun naik disebabkan tidak cukup tidur, badan yg lemah dan ragam baby kecil yg masih belajar hidup atas dunia. jgn buang masa nak jaga hati org lain masa ni.akak takut kamu depress (meroyan). husband kamu pasti akan bercuti kelak lepas delivery. so, bergantunglah padanya dan percayakan dia. susah senang sama2 dlm perkahwinan. tambahan, ibu mertua juga sanggup jaga lepas raya. so, tiada masalah.perjagaan baby or pantang mudah didapati based on nasihat doktor, jururawat dan GOOGLE. risaukan diri kamu dan baby dahulu sblm benda lain. selamat berpantang. mudah mudahan semuanya ok :-)
br nak reply the same thing , yes sister u can avoid not to go to ur aunt’s house
x pyh ler duk umah org. sblm mil dtg, biarla suami cuti dulu.
kalo chinese ade confinement lady..boleh hired. malay x sure pulak. boleh kot tanya kawan2 chinese ade suggestions x.
Malay pun dah banyak, siap masak dan cuci baju
Itll affect u and ur baby later. Pls. Sesal dulu pendapatan..sesal kemudian x berguna. Be firm. Just say no n stick to it no matter what
saya da bersalin dua kali..dua2 berpantang sendiri. Bersalin anak pertama jauh dr mak abah lg..di sabah sana.masa raya juga..berpantang berdua je.semua suami yg tolong uruskan..pls ensure u are at the most confortable place in ur confinement period. Sebab masa tu kita ada mcm2 mood esp anak pertama..i ever experinced some “blues”es ms pantang..haha..hormone adjustment…bincg dgn suami..ckp elok2 pada makcik..org tua spatutnya xde masalah paham..ckp she is welcomed to come ziarah any time ….delegate the housechores dgn suami…buat jadual contoh pagi sediakan air mandi isteri, mandikn baby, then masakkan sarapan n lunch isteri..then baru p kerje..slalu suami dpt paternity leave seminggu so rsnya sempat adjust diri dgn jadual baru…enjoy the confinement day…it is a bless..it is abonding time for you n hubby and also the baby..miss those moments now that my baby is 3 months already..all the best!
if ada duit lebih, pls hire a confinement lady. Search blessed beauty center siti aishah. The lady bole dtg 1hari full or half day and u can choose package for how many days u want them to be with u. They’ll do all the massage for u n baby, tungku, tangas, mandikan both u n ur baby n cooking. Once u’re strong enough u can ask ur hubby to do all the heavy lifting and u do all the simple housework like lipat kain etc. Try to read as much as u can abt how to go thru the pantang days. Also if u no longer hv ur pantang lady with u, u can get pantang food delivered to ur doorstep.
Please… Stay je kat rumah sendiri. Hire confinement lady utk tempoh ms yg mil x boleh jaga tu. Ramai dh sekarang boleh google je.. Dlm rumah aunt u yg sesak dan ramai tu sure u akan depress… Nnt nk berurut satu badan, baby nk menyusu lg x kira masa dan tempt.. mmg akan mendedahkn badan u. Dgn cousin lelaki u yg ddk satu rumah plak tu. U sanggup ke?
Sis. Be firm with your decision. Tlg pentingkan diri dan baby sblum fikir ttg org lain. Suami u xkan faham punya. Pecayalah. Emosi dlm pantang ni lain sgt2.
Berterus terang je sis. Ckp elok2 secara tertib. Guna nama suami pun boleh, ckp suami nak jaga sis di rumah sendiri sbb taknak berjauhan dgn isteri n anak ke kan. Siang upah org jagakan, mlm suami jaga. Then bila mil dah boleh cuti mintak tolong dia pulak. Suami suruh kan, takkan nak bantah, makcik sis mesti terima alasan tu. Ckp elok2 inshaAllah hati dia terjaga. Takyah la duk dgn org yg buat masa lampau sis sedih tu eii menakutkan nanti affect emotional time comfinement. Semoga dipermudahkan ye :)
the best solution i think is u have to find part time maid if possible..so then both ur mil n aunt wont be worried bout u..try la yea..:)
Sis… please… own your birth and own your confinement period… esok depan hari kite yg menangung… ape2 decision make for your own sake… tell them nicely to respect your decision… paling senang guna kuasa husband yg awk kene ikut dan patuh ckp suami… suami kata pantang kat rumah sendiri.. so takkan nk ingkar.. even makcik awk x leh nk bangkang… your husband own you… mmg susah tp demi kesejahteraan dan keselesaan diri sendiri… nak2 plak mental state kite time berpantang ni very vulnerable….please think of that… take care yea sis!!
org daerah mana…?? kakak saya kerja as confinement lady… so maybe she can help kalo nak
Hire confinement lady. Senang. Tak payah nak jaga hati org tua sangat. Cakap elok2. Jaga hati sendiri. Lepas bersalin emosi kita lain tau. Boleh je meroyan kalau environment x membantu. Bincang baik2 dgn suami.
Hi confessor, sama la dilema kita. Plis pm me boleh share2 cerita.
Cc Muhammad Mujahid
If my mom still here too =(
Stay rumah sendiri.. tetapkn pendirian… btgtau ur aunt n ur mil nicely.. jgn stress2… bahaya stress ms berpantang ni…
Sis, kawan sis cakap tu betul. Orang berpantang emosi kena selesa. So tempat berpantang tu memang akan beri pengaruh besar. Sis boleh mintak suami bertegas. N sekarang dah ada confinement lady yg kita boleh upah untuk uruskan pantang kita sampai 40hari. Bincang elok-elok. Penting masa pantang rasa selesa. Suami pun kena support.
Pls pantang kt rumah sis…jgn ambil mudah..ms pantang bdn lemah..mood kite pn x menentu..setiap mase nk menyusu anak..pantang dirumah sendiri..lg selesa..bincang dgn husband suruh die ambil cuti..time ni kite sgt2 perlukan husband disisi..pantang sgt mudah sekarang sb set bersalin yg ada dipasaran semuanya lengkap..hanya sis kene cari bidan/confinement lady untk sesi mengurut..kalau ade budget lebih just hire confinement lady..akan jaga kita..jaga baby..
You kena tegas sebab hal ni untuk kebaikan you, anak dan suami. Peduli apa perasaan orang lain. Jaga perasaan dan kesihatan you dulu. Sekarang banyak kemudahan contohnya upah orang untuk jaga masa pantang dan penghantaran makanan. Cuma sediakan duit je.