so, i knew this guy back when the first day in uni, i looked at him and i fell in love. it lasted for 1 1/2 year. after 1 year been feeling head over heels for him, i decided to confess to him.
i didnt know why i did that at first place. maybe because i'm tired of waiting when he's gonna look at me, when he's gonna feel what i feel. so, i did confess to him.
for the first time in my life confessing to someone, i felt relieved, like there's no burden in my heart. not that loving him is a burden. you know, the feeling of being overwhelmed when u couldnt tell the truth, had been lifted off.
he took it well but he got no feelings for me and so, my love life just crumpled into pieces the second he rejected me. and i still remember to this day, he said to me, 'what's the use of us being a couple if it only attracts sins. it's a waste of time.'
then, i felt like i've fallen for the right guy. i believe when the time has come, we're gonna get married and have babies and be happy forever and ever.
but, thing is, reality is bitter. he ended up couple with his classmate after 6 months confessing to him. truth is, at that time, all i was feeling were anger and rage. he lied to me. mind u, he and his gf was in the highest position in rakan persatuan islam that constantly organize usrahs. they went to these usrahs and yet they did the opposite. practice what u preach.
i saw with my own two eyes that he went out dating at night. the amounts of pictures he posted in instagram. the countless supports from dear friends who also went to usrahs. they support him not convincing him it's haram.
i felt very disappointed by him and his friends. nak je aku whatsapp dia dan ckap, 'oh, what a hypocrite.' and quote back what he wrote to me. waste of time?? u're the one wasting your time.
i wanted to post in my uni confession page biar bg dia terasa because i felt i'm being cheated. everytime i saw him on my way to class, i would just smirk at him. he deserved more than a smirk.
dont judge a book by its cover. i'm glad he's not my jodoh. i wouldnt want my children to have such a spiteful, lying bastard father. they deserve each other i supposed. maybe they want to build an islamic family which rooted from very unislamic ways.
anyways, sorry for the long post, i dont even know where to post it at first. please note that i'm not from uia. thank u for reading.
– hanna nadya