Salam, am writing this regarding a post I read here months ago. About this certain an OKU young lady and her fear about not being able to find a man who will accept her as she is. Sayang, I feel you but before I further with my writing, I would like to tell you something baby girl, love yourself first because there will be no human being will love you more than your own beautiful self.
Sejujurnya, I was born all perfect, am not saying that am less than perfect now, but to human standard you know. All limbs intact, semua deria cukup. Tapi dengan kuasa tuhan, masa aku umur 5 tahun aku ditimpa kecelakaan dimana aku hilang separuh dari deria penglihatan aku, I lost my right eye when I accidentally fell off from my bicycle. That was the first day I was trying to cycle without help. But things happen for so many amazing reasons. I still remember vividly that day though.
Fortunately, my family was never ever treated me like a disabled kid, never. Especially my mom, she knew I had to survive this world on me own, she treated me the same as my older siblings, alhamdulillah. Am forever grateful for that till now.
I have met few OKUs along my way growing up, some of them are so empowering but some of them just lost their confident on their so called disability. Please don’t be folks, I have noticed something when I was around 12, yes of course I lost an eye but alhamdulillah gradually I have gained a better sense in terms of I feel things. For example, in a bustling city where am trying to cross a road with a friend of mine, I tend to see everything moves slowly. I tend to feel which car is coming fast, which car is slowing from afar.
Few time a good friend of mine was trying to cross a road, I managed to pull her back on the street because I can see that car was going to ramp her over eventhough the car was quiet far but the velocity, the car would hit her in a matter of seconds. I can feel if someone is trying to pat my back, I would just catch his/her hand from touching my shoulder. Once my sister said I have eyes behind me back, perhaps so. Kadang-kadang Allah tarik satu, Allah akan bagi lebih dari satu. Up to us to realize it.
For women, I know one of the biggest worry is looking for a spouse. Come on, even a cukup sifat pun ada perasaan insecure, what else us yang ada kekurangan. But think this way, good thing about being disabled is, worry not whether if he will accept you the way your are or not because he actually is, he has seen the kekurang in you but insisted in knowing you etc. He knows what he is getting into because am telling from my experience. Alhamdulillah, my man accepted me sometimes more than I’ve accepted meself. Don’t go for any man, but a real man. Better stay single long than marry wrong.
Keep empowering yourself, there are so many things for us out there, like others. Alhamdulillah in Malaysia we have JKM, keep consulting them. Go for scholarships and further studies. Go travel! Go see other people from the other side of the world, widen your worldview, challenge yourself. I know, the idea seems cool, but tak cuba tak tahu. I came from a sederhana family myself, my dear father was a farmer, but it didn’t stop me back then.
Remember, OKU di Malaysia ni banyak kelebihan. For example, free international passport, discounted travel fare (KTM, LRT, MRT, Transnational, Malaysia Airlines), free roadtax for national car and so many more. Allah mudahkan untuk kekurangan kita.
And to the ‘normals’, please, don’t succumb people with disabilities into one category only. Helpless category because we’re not, just little bit of limitations. Sometimes when we asked people to understand, doesn’t mean we want you to feed us rice, wash our bottom, comb our hair, drive us here and there. Just understand our needs, not because we’re ‘mengada’, but we need those.
Sometimes I think I bargained too much of limitations so people with no limitations could see it. Am glad never once my family treated me as an OKU kid, because I’ve met few people with disabilities growing up with very low self esteem, depressed etc.
– Platter
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