Assalamualaikum.
Saya juga ber-conflict dengan minat, bezanya, saya mahu study medic, jadik dokter. (Bersiap sedia dengan bahasa campuran. Mintak maaf…)
Saya belajar engineering, tapi sejak hari pertama degree, saya memang tak minat dan tak mahu belajar engineering. Tapi semester pertama saya pujuk diri sendiri, “Why dont you just give it a try?” Ok, saya cuba juga. Hasilnya, result exam hampeh.
Masuk tahun ketiga, that’s it; I sat down with my parents and told them I want to be a doctor. Dad didnt say anything. Mom said, “Whatever you wanna do, youve got to finish what youve started. Finish this degree first.”
Normal for engineering students, tahun 4 (tahun akhir) semua sibuk cari kerja, pergi interviews sana sini, yang dah dapat kerja pun ada, cuma tunggu habis viva FYP saja. As for me, I called pegawai JPA (under scholarship JPA for my degree), asked for advise. I told the officer that I wanted to do medic. She basically told me (roughly), “OK, if you didnt get a placement in the government after you graduated then you are good to go.”
All of my friends were looking for jobs, but I was looking for a medical school. I applied everywhere, considering their entry requirements.
Sadly, I didnt get any placement. During the final year, a good friend of mine ajak teman pergi this one interview. ‘Teman’ here means I have to join the interview, bukan setakat pergi hantar, tunggu, then balik. No. Haha.
When we were waiting for graduation, I got an email. Turns out I got the job. Contract 2 tahun. In saudi. They gave me a week to sign the papers. I, on the other hand, was still filled with medicine. So I rejected the job offer. In saudi. Haha. Seems easy right? But no, until this day, that was the most difficult decision that I had to make in my entire life.
I was thinking, I should further my studies in engineering since I can quit anytime (still thinking medic hahaha). So I did. Doing masters was the most difficult years of my life. Why? Saya keluarga sederhana. Parents dah tak kerja. Bersara from kerja swasta. Sebagai anak lelaki yang dah ada degree and should be working bagi duit kat mak bapak, I chose to do masters. So after finishing my degree, I never once mintak duit from my parents until now. EVER. Kadang-kadang bapak ada jugak nak hulur duit, but I refused. Segan sangat nak ambik since they are not working anymore.
During masters, I had to do part time sebab kekurangan duit. Duit MYBRAIN from government 10K untuk bayar yuran pun tak cukup, kena topup around 2K sendiri. Print thesis tebal bercopy-copy pun duit sendiri. Duit makan lagi. FYI tiap hari makan roti. Yes roti. Masa makan tu rasa nak nangis sebab fikir at least aku dapat makan roti, orang lain ada yang takda makanan. Syukur. Makan nasi seminggu sekali saja (hari special) sebab letih sangat masuk lab and kena buat part time, so sangat letih. Part time jadik tuition teacher. Ajar Biology. HAHAHAHA. Dah 4 tahun tak pegang buku biology since matriks tetiba kena bukak buku biology buat notes and questions for my students. Kawan serumah kata aku ni tak macam tengah buat master, tapi macam tengah nak ambik SPM, siang masuk lab, malam study biology. At that time I was thinking, “Tak dapat jadi dokter pun takpa lah, jadi cikgu biology pun takpa lahhhh.” Haha sedih sangat masa tu. Pasrah.
Lepas habis master, now, kerja pakai kelayakan master tapi gaji level degree. Hmmm, rezeki Allah bagi. Masih lagi terfikir nak apply medic. Masih. Tapi takda duit.
If I got a chance to do medic from anywhere (believe in miracles) I would grab that chance without looking kiri kanan dah. Actually dah buat macam-macam waktu degree dulu sebab nak buat medic sangat. Sanggup tebalkan muka pergi sana-sini. Tapi…
I dont know why I feel like writing here. I think if you are from medic and you wanna do something else, its quite easy. But from something else like me (engineering) wanna do medic, its tough.
Kepada budak dilema medik, emmm, habiskan dulu your degree maybe? Then you can pursue what you really wanna do. Do a second degree maybe?
Thanks for reading. Sorry for my terrible writing. Kalo ada kawan-kawan yang tengah baca ni yang rasa macam kenal aku (housemates, coursemates etc), please dont pm me kat whatsapp.
Haha.
Assalamualaikum.
– Dalam Dilema Juga
Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit