How Both Linkin Park and Chester Bennington Gave an Inspiration To Me

Hello, and good evening. In this article here, I’d like to talk about my most favorite band in this whole wide world and even I didn’t realise how I ended up liking, loving, and cares so much about them in the first place.

So, first off… you may be wondering, what’s an American like me doing here in the first place? Alright, so recently, I have some issues going on and frankly I ended up living in this country, Malaysia.

It’s an amazing country with a lot of wonderful, lovable people and thank you so much for having me here. Without you guys, without the help of the Internet, I won’t even ending up here, typing, writing out this article.

So, back to the main topic.. I’m here to talk about this band, Linkin Park and how they changed my life ever since. Thanks guys, and.. Rest In Peace, sir Bennington. We’ll miss you, man.

I was born in Arizona, USA and I moved to Malaysia when I was around 7/8, I guess. All I remembered was I did have kindergarten there, back in AZ. Ironic, I know, I was also born in Pheonix, same to where Chester was.

When I was a kid, I was a really sad kid I gotta say, like I’ve been through a lot of things that made me traum4tized, not as confident, sad, angry, disappointed, embarrassed, humiliated, and a lot more. But not when LP starts to shine right into my eyes, and gave me that intense melody right through my ears. It was wonderful how the first time I got into it.

I was a lonely kid who got abused by my step brother who’s a few years older than I am, without my parents, or anyone else to help me. So, the song “Numb” though, usually keeps on repeating almost EVERYWHERE, whether if it’s on a radio, television , whatever!

At first, I didn’t really get into it ’cause I have no idea what it’s all about, but when it’s everywhere, I started liking it and… fell in love with it.

But, little did you know, the technology wasn’t even that popular back in 2009-2010, and I was just a kid, so what’d you expect. I first started having my own phone was when I was 10, but that sort of a phone didn’t have any Internet access to it, so it’s pretty much the same.

But then, since television is all I got left, I heard the song “What I’ve Done”, and not to mention that this other one is pretty great too, and I never knew they were from the same band, till I got a smartphone when I was 14, and that’s when Chester died, on July 20th 2017.

I was shocked. I can’t believe he died… I really can’t. That time, I didn’t even know the name of the band yet, since my parents wouldn’t allow me to play with my phone too much, so I enjoyed most of my time listening to a Malaysian-English station, Hitz Fm.

I heard the song “Heavy” on the radio multiple times and I liked it, of course, but I never got a clue that it was from the same band! Hell, even Chester’s voice have changed a lot, and the genres aren’t the same as the previous ones either.

I didn’t blame them at all though, I’m completely okay with that. It just proves that his voice fits in every genre, and that’s really cool. They did mentioned the name of the band, but I really didn’t have a clue, ’cause like I said, I still didn’t know the name of the band yet.

Then it hit me when Ryan (from Hitz Fm) said that Linkin Park’s frontman, Chester Bennington died, and I was like, “What? How can THAT happen? They just released the song “Heavy” not too long ago..” and THAT time, he puts the song “Numb” on the radio, as an honor of Chester Bennington’s death, and by that time, I was really shocked ’cause I KNEW THE SONG!!

And I thought, “Wait, it’s from the same band ALL ALONG?? I never realised!!” Don’t blame me though, Meteora came out when Chester is still on his early 20s, and One More Light came when he’s on his early 40s. I cried, and I still can’t believe it. The man, the band, and the song that I grew all along these times… He’s not there with us anymore.

I’m still not satisfied so I asked my step mom about it, and it was true. I still didn’t believe it and asked my step grandma, and it was true.. She even told me she saw it on the news. My heart broke. But as soon as I got my phone back, I searched for it, and I listened to all of them, including “In The End”, “Crawling”, and so on. And I started to get deeply into the lyrics.

The lyrics are so deep, that I cried on each and every sentence they pour their hearts into. Then I looked at the music video… It’s fantastic, awesome, amazing, and it’s like something that I wished other bands or other artists would have done. No s3x, no drugs, just pure talent with a lot of messages and highlighted issues.

Then I looked through the past interviews, Chester looked so happy… I knew that he committed suicide.. It’s d3pr3ssion, d3pr3ssion took his life away. He looked so cheerful, and happy, and it’s like… It’s like no signs of d3pr3ssion, can you imagine that? He looked like there’s nothing wrong, like everything is all cheerful, but while it’s not.

He got s3xual abused as a kid, bullied for being too skinny in high school, they treated him like a rag doll, his parents divorced, no one really cared and helped him, but look at him now! He became a successful man, with a successful band! This is why you shouldn’t just judge people, man. Failing now doesn’t mean you’ll fail forever. Impossibility is just an opinion.

But that abuse and the divorce though.. that’s something that I relate.

Imagine, he got s3xual abused by an older male friend of his for freakin’ YEARS. Can YOU imagine that?!! And he’s scared to tell both of his parents about it, he thought they’ll just accuse him for being gay and lied… man.

By that, he started have some drug issues… he went through a lot, poor him to get through the darkness by such a young age. You can’t practically blame him, if I were him, I’d probably do the same thing, or probably something worse.

I said probably.

He wrote how he felt during his childhood, the hard times, that’s why when being a vocalist.. it came true within his heart. He’s letting it all out. Truthfully, and painfully.

I cried everyday thinking about him.. sounds pathetic, but you know.. he kinda feels like a family member to me. I wish I can see him live, I wish I was old and good enough to travel around the world, I wish I could buy their merch, I wish I could meet him and tell him how worth he is, and how much I care.. I wish I can just, hug him, that’ll be enough, Even if it’s just a hug. He need that.

Damn… anyway, I went listening and get into deeper on all of the club members stories, their past life, starting from Mike Shinoda, to Chester Bennington, to Brad Delson, to the rest of the band members.

And now, I’m 16. I’m still loving them with ALL my heart and never will stop loving them.

Love from Hybrid Theory to One More Light.

I wish I can put a picture here but I don’t know how.

“When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind.” -The Messenger, Linkin Park.

– Renee Jaiden (Bukan nama sebenar)

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